Bittersweet Ecstasy
by kindontheeyes
Summary: People always tell the stories of celebrities' lives, but never the story of what they go through in order to get that unwanted fame. Tris is a starving singer. Tobias a big-wig music producer's assistant. Tris never wanted glory. Just to make music. When she gets discovered, fame and fortune don't bring her happiness. Little did she know fame would become a bittersweet ecstasy.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Tobias Eaton. Nobody knew his name, though everyone knew his _boss's_ name. He was just the lowly assistant. Nobody cared about him, even though he did some of the most important jobs in the office. He wasn't the kind of assistant that ran errands and got coffee for the important people. He did the important people's jobs. He did almost all of the work, while his boss got paid the big bucks.

He knew those were the consequences he'd have to pay in order to climb up the ladder. In order to be important. In order to matter. In order to accomplish his dream. In order to make change.

Every time he got called into his boss's office, there'd always be a small sliver of hope that maybe—just maybe—that there'd be a change his position. He couldn't help but imagine the title of "Tobias Eaton, CEO and Producer of Sweets Productions."

He laughed at the thought as he sat in his little desk outside of his bosses office.

Music was what Tobias loved. The only thing he ever cared about was just that. Music was how he lived. How he survived and thrived. How he became the person he was then. Of course, when he was about eleven, he wanted to become a DJ. At fifteen he wanted to be in a band. At seventeen he wanted to quit. At nineteen he wanted to major in it at college. At twenty-three he became an assistant at Sweets Productions.

At twenty-four he hated his job.

But every day, he still got up, got eight coffees, picked up documents, and hated his life even more, over and over again. Same shit, different day.

As he sat at his desk, he worked intently on his Pac-Man game, waiting, waiting to be called by his boss to do some more ridiculous busy-work. Although he did the most important things, the past week his boss had been treating him like absolute dog shit.

"Eaton!" the boss yelled. "Office!"

He closed his eyes momentarily, and then got up.

Tobias stood one-on-one, man-on-man, with his boss.

"Yes, sir?" he asked.

"Tobias, I have a job for you. An important one. A chance."

Hope rose in Tobias's chest.

"I'm listening."

* * *

Tris stepped outside and into the fresh air of downtown London. The air was brisk and the wind at a minimum. She met her friends sitting at the top of the doorstep and some on the lower stairs. They all looked like normal people, but, little did the public know, that they were the total opposite.

Shauna: the unstoppable artist.

Marlene: the unstable chef.

Christina and Will: the unforgettable photographers.

Tris" the unstoppable, unstable, unforgettable, unaccepted, unappreciated, and unhinged singer.

She was all of those things.

Unstoppable, most certainly. Even through all of the things people told her about her career choice, she never stopped.

Unstable, most definitely. Bipolar? Not quite. Unstable is the perfect word to describe her. If someone messed with her… Let's say bad things could happen. No guarantees.

Unforgettable, absolutely. She had one of those faces, one of those voices, and one of those personalities that one just couldn't forget about. No matter how hard they try, it's next to impossible to accomplish it.

Unaccepted, no question. Society has never been kind to her. Frequently she found herself wondering what she could've done to've deserved that kind of life.

Unappreciated, no doubt. Her voice was like no other. It was impossible to imitate a smooth, goddess-like voice like hers.

Unhinged, yes, indeed. She broke from the hinges—the status quo—when she was… well, she'd always been away from the hinges. She'd always been that girl reading on the playground while everyone was out playing. She'd always been that girl that attracted the wrong kind of attention.

A hot reader? Now _that_ was something rare. Even in college when she'd be reading in the courtyard, listening to music, she would get all of the wrong kinds of attention. From jocks to nerds to creepers. Then there were normal guys that just didn't seem give her the jitters. To give her the right kind of feelings in her head. The ones that sent shivers across her skin. The ones that gave her goosebumps when she talked to him. Goosebumps and shivers were definite indicators for Tris.

The thing Tris always wondered was why she couldn't love. She wrote all these lovey-dovey songs that would make any man fall head over heels and attract any guy, and yet, somehow, she couldn't manage to love anyone.

She had a plethora of these lovely, lovely songs. She hadn't shown them to a single soul. _She_ barely even knew what they meant, and she _wrote_ them.

A man—a fine, yes, very fine man indeed—was staring in her direction at the moment, and that alone gave her goosebumps and shivers. She wasn't even talking to this man and he already gave her those feelings.

She nudged her friends one at a time, indicating for them to look at the man.

From here she could notice his deep, ocean blue eyes. They stood out against his tan skin and dark brown hair. He was tall, she noted, and quite handsome. She noticed that every time she looked at him, he'd be gazing off into the distance.

She and her friends lived across the street from a nice, moderately sized park where children would go to play and adults would go to let loose and clear their minds.

Tris frequented that park to do those things. She would take a walk around the park; maybe run a few laps, all the while listening to music.

Though her mind digressed, her eyesight still took focus to the man with the ocean blue eyes.

Her friends nudge her and push her to go over there and ask why he stared, so she stood, and then she stalked up to the man with the ocean blue eyes.

* * *

"I'm just your assistant," Tobias told his boss. "I don't do these kind of jobs."

"I'm giving you an opportunity."

 _"I'm just your assistant."_

 _"I'm giving you an opportunity."_

A pause.

"Okay," Tobias finally said. "I'll do it. And if I don't do this quite right…?"

"We'll see."

He nodded, and then left the office, returning to his desk.

Though it was a short and brief conversation, it was worth more than any long and boring conversation for Tobias. The objective: find an artist. Any artist. Any artist with a real voice. A real, genuine person with a real, genuine voice. He could find him or her on YouTube, Vimeo, hell, even Instagram.

He wanted Tobias's insight as a young adult to see what "kids these days" were into. Tobias told him that everyone has lost faith in true voices; that there are no longer any true, real, and non-autotoned voices. So the boss said he wanted something fresh; something different. He wanted to do a completely real album.

YouTube was the first place that came to Tobias's mind to check.

He sat down at his desk, and the first thing he pulled up was the read play button, indicating it was YouTube.

 _Trending Now:_

 _PrioriT (2,314,865 subscribers)_

 _SarahClose1 (383,270 subscribers)_

 _JennaMarbles (15,522,253 subscribers)_

 _PrioriT._ Clever. Tris Prior was the name, indicating that she was a priority. Yes, a clever little duck she was.

Tobias clicked on her first video. A cover of "Poison" by Rita Ora. He scrambled for earbuds, and when he plugged them in, the first thing that hit him was her thick english accent.

"Hey guys, so, today I'm going to be singing a wonderful, wonderful song by a wonderful, wonderful artist named Rita Ora. This song is called Poison, and well,"—she looks down—"it basically explains my life," she says with a chuckle. She looks up and swipes the hair from her face. "Hope you enjoy."

When she smiles, she looks beautiful, Tobias thought. She looked about 23, and quite the beauty.

The beginning started off with the piano she was playing, and when her voice struck his ears, he was speechless. This was the first person he heard sing, and he knew—he _knew_ —that this was the girl. She was the one. This girl—she deserved a record label.

Not only did she infatuate Tobias, but she sang like a lovely mythical siren. Those two things were very hard to accomplish under his standards.

Tobias knocked on his boss's door, and without waiting, he stepped in.

"Another question, Mr. Eaton?" his boss asked.

"Yes," he said, about breathless just from the one song. "I'm going to need to be on the next flight to wherever this girl lives."

"Tobias, must you be so naïve? You listen to one artist and you think she's the one. Listen to more, and then we'll talk."

"Sir, you need to listen to her. She deserves at least that."

He sighed, putting down his pen. "Very well. Play me the song."

Tobias ran to his desk and grabbed his laptop, then lugged it into his bosses office quickly as possible. He could only hope his boss would say yes to the trip. Part of the reason he even wanted to go was to see if this girl was even real. She couldn't be though, he thought. Nobody was that perfect.

Without a word, he pressed the play button on his laptop.

It started out with the introduction.

"What is this girls username?"

"PrioriT."

"Priority?" his boss asked.

Tobias paused the video because Tris began to sing. "Her name is Tris Prior. She put Prior then I, adding a capital T. Therefore indicating that she is a priority. Witty."

Then he unpaused the video.

Throughout the song, his boss was expressionless. He showed no emotion as to what he thought of the song. He could've loved it with every fiber of his being, or he could've loathed it with every ounce of himself.

When the song ended, Tobias closed his laptop with a hopeful expression.

"Watch more videos. Find out where she lives. Find out everything about this girl. I want her in my studio."

A grin spread across Tobias's cheeks; almost to the point where it hurt. He was beyond happy. This would be one of the best jobs in the world if he actually ended up getting to know this girl. Virtually and in real life.

"I'm on it, sir."

* * *

Tris approached the man with great wariness.

Not because she was afraid of frightening him, but because she was afraid of frightening herself. Nobody bothered saying anything when she got up and left her doorstep; they all knew she was going to confront the man.

They made an unusually large amount of eye contact while she crossed the crosswalk.

When she reached him, his eyes only stood out more than they did before. At ocean blue, it was hard not to notice them.

"May I ask what you could possibly want with me and my friends, sir?" was the first thing she said. "Because our lives are rather boring. And they all have boyfriends," Tris lied, "so you might as well scurry along."

The man with ocean blue eyes smirked. "Well do you?" he asked. "Have a boyfriend, that is."

Tris crossed her arms. "That is irrelevant to the current conversation."

Ocean Blue crossed his arms, mirroring her stance. "I believe it's very relevant."

She rolled her eyes. "You're just a dumb American. What do you know?"

He shrugged. "I know that I have good priorities. You seem to have none. Your number one priority is making music, correct? To some that's a low priority, but to you it's the highest, right?"

She flinched at that. "I presume you've seen my channel?"

Ocean Blue nodded. "It's quite enticing."

"Thank you?" she asked as a question. She didn't know how to respond to that exact type of question. She rarely got fans, and she was always very modest about how she would reply. Many of the fans she did get would be very upfront and tell her to never ever stop singing no matter what. Never. She got fan-mail about once or twice per week, and when she opened them, she got nothing but good things. Sure, she got some YouTube hate, but it was a rarity. She usually would comment back if there was a serious question, but she never bothered to argue with people that disliked her. She didn't care. She knew she was good, and that was all that mattered.

Ocean Blue chuckled. "Very modest, you are."

"So," she said, trying to change the topic, "are you some kind of stalker fan, or…?"

"Or," he said.

"What are your intentions?"

He took her hand from her side and grabbed a marker from his pocket. He held the cap in his mouth, which Tris admitted, was very alluring.

So she didn't pull back her hand or fight or act disgusted because he touched her. She simply let it happen. She knew he wouldn't let her go without a fight.

He threw her a wink as he walked away, putting the marker into his pocket.

She raised her palm so she could read what Ocean Blue had written.

 _Corbin's Coffee. 6 o'clock._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _Hello. My name is Arabella (yes, like the Arctic Monkeys song, hence the userame) and I'm 16. Hope you enjoy my first fic!_

* * *

When Tobias walked into Corbin's Coffee House, the first thing he smelled was the freshly ground coffee beans. The next thing was the delicious scent of the baking pastries. The last, but best thing he could've possibly encountered in England, was the lovely sight of _PrioriT_ sitting in the high-chaired table near the window, sipping her coffee and in what seemingly looked like pretty deep thought.

Tobias approached her with great caution; the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off.

"I find that you're showing up will do you a great deal of goodness."

She turned to Tobias and smiled. "Well gee, you sound like a fortune cookie," she chuckled.

He laughed and sat down across from her, the chair moving soundlessly across the floor.

"So," Tris said, "this business proposal you speak of. I suspect you have quite the deal for me since you flew across the world."

"Eager little duck, you are. First let me ask: how was your day? Good, bad, okay?" Tobias asked.

She slouched. From her body language, Tobias could tell she most certainly did not want to be there. She was probably there purely due to curiosity.

"My day was fine. Yours?"

Tobias tapped his fingers against the wooden table. "It was good, thanks for asking. Mainly because I met you today."

She looked down. "What do you want with me?"

Tobias chuckled. "You make it sound like I dragged you here, Tris."

"My curiosity dragged me here," she snapped, "not you."

Tobias threw his hands up defensively. "Sorry. I guess I'll speak of this proposal now.

"Have you heard of Sweets Music Production?"

Tobias could tell that this was not what she was expecting. Her breathing quickened and her eyes bulged from her sockets.

"Of course," she responded, surprisingly calm.

"I work there," Tobias said simply. "My boss wanted me to find a fresh voice. Something raw," he continued. "And I found those things in you and your voice."

"Okay…," Tris said nervously. "I'm listening."

Tobias smirked. "I want you to fly back to New York with me. If my boss seems to like you and that lovely voice of yours, he might just sign you a record deal. How does that sound?"

Tris's eyes opened wide, and her jaw slightly dropped. She couldn't manage to let one word escape her shocked lips.

Tobias put his first finger gently under her chin and closed it. "You'll catch flies," he said with a wink. "So what do you say?"

She shook her head, surprised, shocked and all other kinds of emotions. "Yes. Oh my god, yes. When do we leave?"

"My flight is in two days, so I have all of tomorrow free. We leave on Sunday morning."

"My god, this is amazing. So your boss— is he, like, kind of a big deal?"

Tobias nodded. "Yeah. You see, I'm his assistant. He's giving me a chance to be someone important, possibly have his job since I'm pretty sure he's retiring soon. Anyway, I showed him a video of yours— Poison, to be exact, which is a lovely cover, by the way—and he absolutely loved it. He flew me out here on the next flight from New York to London. We couldn't find any personal stuff on you, so, not to creep you out, but we had a tech team come in and they found where you uploaded your videos from. Quite easily, actually. But anyway, I wanted to hear your voice in person to make sure you were all that you seemed. So, in about, oh, maybe 45 seconds you're going to be singing one of your songs up on that stage. Sound good?"

She cleared her throat. "Excuse me?"

"You want a record deal?"

"Yeah."

"Then—" Tobias began, but then was cut off the owner, Corbin.

"We have a special guest that is singing for you all tonight. Her name is Tris Prior, but some of you know her as _PrioriT._ Everyone give a warm welcome to the girl with that amazing voice we all know and love."

Clapping aroused from the crowd.

Tris glared at Tobias, and he simply gave a large grin.

She smiles when she gets up on stage. The crowd was staring her down.

"Hi, I'm Tris Prior, as you know from the great intro by Corbin. I wasn't prepared that I'd be singing tonight, so I'm going to be singing "Skinny Love" by Birdy. The definition of "Skinny Love" is when two people love each other very much, but are both too shy to admit it, even though their actions make it very obvious. This song has been with me through the toughest of times."

Tris did what she did before every song. She closed her eyes, took a death breath, and sang.

 _Come on skinny love just last the year,_

 _Pour a little salt we were never here,_

 _My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my..._

 _Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer._

 _Tell my love to wreck it all,_

 _Cut out all the ropes and let me fall,_

 _My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my..._

 _Right in the moment this order's tall._

 _And I told you to be patient,_

 _And I told you to be fine,_

 _And I told you to be balanced,_

 _And I told you to be kind,_

 _And in the morning I'll be with you,_

 _But it will be a different kind,_

 _'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets,_

 _And you'll be owning all the fines._

 _Come on skinny love, what happened here?_

 _Suckle on the hope in light brassieres,_

 _My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my..._

 _Sullen load is full, so slow on the split._

 _And I told you to be patient,_

 _And I told you to be fine,_

 _And I told you to be balanced,_

 _And I told you to be kind,_

 _And now all your love is wasted,_

 _Then who the hell was I?_

 _'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches,_

 _And at the end of all your lines._

 _Who will love you?_

 _Who will fight?_

 _And who will fall far behind?_

 _Come on skinny love,_

 _My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my…_

 _My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my…_

Tris closed her eyes, leaned her head on the microphone, and smiled. When she heard nothing but clapping she looked up, and smiled at the audience. Even without a piano, she rocked the solo voice, which was rare for somebody to be able to do.

Corbin swooped in, and Tris handed him the microphone.

"Wow, ladies and gentlemen, can we get another round of applause for _the_ Tris Prior? She about knocked my beanie off."

Another sound of hands smacking together erupted and filled the coffeehouse. Tris looked outside the window and blushed.

Tobias could tell stage fright would be a bit of a problem for her.

Tris was interrupted from her trance by Corbin.

"Say, Tris, you got any other songs for the crowd out there tonight?"

She chuckled. "I think I could manage one more."

She was handed the microphone, and with a playful glare at Tobias, she began to sing.

* * *

Tris had performed at Corbin's Coffeehouse before with no trouble, but as of that night when she had to sing in front of Tobias, she absolutely hated it. She never had stage fright. When important people heard her sing, the situation was completely different. She was usually frozen. When an important person came in, she walked out. But because of Tobias, the stress was a little less. He was just Tobias. They'd met before, so it wasn't like the pressure was whole ton. Or maybe it was the fact that he was a flirtatious, very handsome man around her age.

Either way, Tris was glad the stage fright had slowly dissolved as she went further and further into her performance.

They were walking home at around eight o'clock, and Tris realized that this was hardly a recruitment.

Tobias walked her to her door, which perplexed her.

"Tobias," Tris said, "this hardly seems like a test to see if I'm all I say I am. It's seems more so like a date."

This made him chuckle. "Though I am glad I am able to get you to come back to the Big Apple, I am sure that no date will be happening in the near future, unfortunately. My company has a strict policy of not dating clients."

Without hesitance, Tris said, "A shame."

Tobias's eyebrows rose. "Really now?" he asked, smirk planted on his face. "A shame, you say?"

Tris chuckled. "You're a good-looking, single, nice guy, and I'm a halfway decent-looking, single, nice girl. If we asked anyone, they'd say they thought we were dating."

"Doesn't sound so bad, does it?" Tobias asked with a witty smirk.

She smirked. "You ever been to London before now?"

He shook his head. "Nope, never been."

"Let me take you out tomorrow night," Tris said with a bit of adventure in her eye.

Tobias acted like he wasn't surprised, but he really was. Majorly. "Sounds good. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

Tris laughed. "Oh, I think not, mister. I'm taking _you_ out. Now, what hotel are you staying at again?"

"The Embassy Suites. Room 529."

"Two o'clock?"

"Sounds good," Tobias said. "Until tomorrow."

Tris gave him a sideways smirk and stepped inside her apartment. "Until tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _In case you haven't figured it out, this story is primarily about what it's like to be famous and the struggles of a celebrity. It's not all just attention, beauty, and money. So Tris's fame and life is the main plot, while her relationship with Tobias is secondary and a subplot. Think of this as a… an exposé, if you will. I've done my research, and being famous kinda sucks, to be honest._

* * *

Tris ran all around her room the next morning. She had absolutely no idea what she'd wear.

 _What do you wear for a thing like this?_ she asked herself. _It's not a date, but I can tell that he's going to flirt which makes us a little bit more than friends, right?_

She groaned. It was a solid 13˚C outside _(which equates to around 55˚F for you Americans)_ , which was somewhat cold for September.

She frowned yet again, and then stood up on her stool to the top part of the closet. The average person could reach, but Tris was nowhere near average, considering she stood a mere 1.6 meters tall _(which is around 5'2 for you Americans)_.

Then Tris found a red and dark blue plaid shirt. She knew she had a blue scarf that would match perfectly. She threw on regular dark jeans, and then black Vans. To finish it off, she put on her aviator sunglasses and put her hair up in a simple ponytail.

When she was done getting ready to exist, she walked out of the door that belonged to her apartment at noonish. She made her way to the coffeehouse, and in her hand was a book. In her back pockets lied her phone, which enabled her to listen to music, and her wallet, because carrying around a purse was much too bothersome.

She sat down her book and her earbuds at the place she's claimed—a two-person booth. She went up to the counter and ordered.

"Could I have fried bread and some scrambled eggs please?" she asked as she reached for her wallet.

"Sure thing. That should be ready in about five to ten minutes."

"All right," Tris said with a kind smile. "Thanks."

She sat down at her lonely booth, and then began reading her book. A giant book consisting of every single poem/short story by Edgar Allan Poe. Tris always loved those kind of books. She would get stuck in them, unable to pull herself away back into reality. Poems were what inspired her to become a songwriter.

So for the next hour and forty-five minutes, she read and ate her eggs and fried bread.

Around 1:45, she left for Tobias's hotel. It took a good ten minutes to walk there, so she enjoyed some music as she did so.

When she arrived, she found herself standing in front of Tobias's door, hesitant. She didn't know what to say, what to do… She found herself wondering what he'd look like when he opened that door. Would he be wearing a a plaid shirt like herself? A sweatshirt? Or maybe even a leather jacket? She definitely thought he'd like look mighty fine in a jacket like that.

Just before her knuckles reached the door, it swung open.

He looked up and was surprised. Then happy. "Tris."

He was wearing a black leather jacket with a shirt beneath it that read "Vans" with its signature logo.

"Um," she said, "Hi."

They stood there awkwardly.

Tris looked smiled, and then laughed, which caused Tobias to laugh along with her.

"Oh, hey, do you mind if I leave my book in your room? I'd prefer to not carry it around all day."

"Of course. I'll just set in on the desk."

When he cane back, he asked, "How are you?"

Tris smiled and nodded. "I'm all right. Yourself?"

He shrugged. "My day will get better."

"And why's that?"

Tobias smirked. "I'll be with you. And besides, it's not like my day could get any worse." Tobias closed his hotel room door and began walking. "I ran out of towels this morning. Then I burned my tongue on my coffee—which was disgusting, in case you were wondering—and my laptop charger decided to stop working. And you know what the worst part is? Room service ran out of orange juice! Do you know how much I love orange juice, Tris?"

Tris laughed. "No, but it sounds like you two are pretty serious."

He laughed. "I've drank orange juice every single day of my life since I was nine. Do you know that?"

"Do you know that I love orange juice because of the movie Notting Hill?"

He smiles. "I did not know that. A great movie though. Fantastic. My favorite chick-flick."

"So you frequent watching romantic comedies, huh?"

He shrugged. "It was only my mom and me when I grew up. She would constantly work and work and work… But when she _wasn't_ working, she would always just relax and watch movies. We'd hang out downstairs, build forts, and just watch some of her favorite movies." He shrugged. "I miss it."

"You don't see her much anymore?"

He gave a sad smile. "She passed away about a year ago. Breast cancer."

Tris looked away. "Oh. God. I'm so sorry."

He masked the pain with another smile. "It's fine. I've already had my fair share of condolences. I don't need any more."

"Right. Got it. But if you ever need someone to build forts with and watch romantic comedies, just give me a call."

He chuckled. "I might take you up on that offer when we get back to America."

Tris laughed. "Well I'll have to get settled first in order to do that. You know, like, get a place to live so that I'm not an alley man. Or, um… don't you Americans call them hobbies, correct? No, no, I apologize. Hobos. You call them hobos."

Tobias laughed a hearty laugh. "Yes. We stupid Americans."

After a short pause, Tris says, "I know a great place just across from where I want to take you first. They have freshly squeezed orange juice so you can get your Calcium in."

He nodded. "Sounds good. But where are we even going today?" he asked inquisitively.

"Well, first we're going to that café. Then I planned on taking you to see Big Ben, and then the Tower Bridge. From there, we'll go to Hyde Park. Oh, and do you listen to The Beatles?"

He nodded. "I'm not a die-hard fan, but yeah, their music is pretty great."

"Okay. Then I will take you to the place where the iconic crosswalk photo was taken. After that, I think it'll be around dinnertime at seven o'clock. Then we can go to Barrafina—a great laid back restaurant/bar. It's fantastic. Anyway, after that, we go our separate ways, meet in the morning, and then discuss business over the flight. Sound good?"

He nodded again. "Sounds fantastic."

"And just so you know, I'm expecting you to give me a tour of New York when we arrive."

He laughed. "Got it. You've never been to the U.S.?"

She shook her head. "No, sir, but I am bloody excited to."

Tobias smirked. "You're cute when you're excited."

"Bloody hell, then I guess I'm always excited, aren't I?" Tris retorted.

He laughed. Tris remarked that his laugh was a nice one. It was not too manly or brawny, but obviously it wasn't feminine. He didn't snort or have an airy laugh. It was just a genuine laugh, and that was something she found hard to find those days.

"Your laugh is remarkable," Tris said. "In a totally non-creepy way."

He laughed yet again. "Well, despite having been told my laugh is weird and outlandish, I appreciate the compliment. However, something I _do_ believe is that you have a rather melodic laugh yourself, Tris Prior."

"Well. Thank you, Tobias Eaton."

When they arrived at the place with freshly squeezed orange juice, Tris ordered them two, and then they sat down at a small booth for two.

"These are pretty cheap, huh?"

"I used my employee discount."

Tobias's eyebrows rose. "You work here?"

She smiled. "It's not like I exactly get paid for making Youtube videos, love."

He frowned. "Right. Sorry."

She shrugged. "It's okay. I've worked hard and paid my dues, and look where it's gotten me. Sippin' orange juice with an assistant music producer."

He smiled again. "You're in the big leagues now, Prior. Better get used to it."

After a moment of silence, Tris asked quietly, "Are they going to change me? Who I am?"

He shook his head. "They wanted a raw singer with genuine talent. Sure, they might dress you up in some stuff you're not used to, but you'll be fine."

"What—like Lady Gaga?" Tris laughed nervously.

He took a sip of his orange juice before answering. "No. Like… Jennifer Lawrence. Not too revealing, but still sexy. You'll be fine. You'll rock it."

A slight blush creeped onto Tris's face. "Thanks for the reassurance. But what if they don't like the original songs I've written? Will they hire a songwriter?"

He shook his head. "I'm fairly certain that your originals will be fantastic."

"How so?"

He shrugs, then stands up. "Everything else about you is amazing, so why not your writing?"

She laughs, and then she walks over to the trash can.

"Okay, so, Big Ben is just down the road, and, you know, once you've seen that, taken your pictures, etc., we'll do the same with the bridge."

Tobias nodded. "Let's do it."

* * *

"See you tomorrow morning."

"Until the morning."

Tris gently shut the door, and she heard Tobias's footsteps fading down the hall.

"Tris! What the hell? Where've you been? It's half past nine!"

She needed a moment to process. She just… she needed to calm down. She walked past Christina and walked into her room.

She just spent the entire day with a perfect man. A music producer. An orange juice lover. A man who made her feel… Well, important. And she would get to spend almost every day with him. How would she do it? How could she simply _not_ tackle him with kisses? She knew it'd be hard to restrain herself.

And she knew it'd be hard for him. She could see the hunger in his eyes, and also the control.

But whatever it was, she knew it was the same thing she was feeling.

Christina followed her into her room, but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to America tomorrow."

Chris's eyes popped out of her head. "America?"

"America."

"Why?"

"Label."

"Label?" she exclaimed.

"Label."

"Oh my god," Chris said. "You're going to America, and you're getting a record deal. Bloody hell, my best friend is getting a record deal!"

Tris laughed. "I am."

"But this doesn't explain why you were out so late both yesterday and today."

"I was with a guy."

"A guy?"

"A guy."

"Who?"

"Tobias Eaton. He's with the music producing company. He's young, hot, and really funny. Today I was just giving him a tour of London. He will do the same in return when we arrive to New York. Anyhow, I leave tomorrow morning with him and I need to begin packing. I—"

"You leave tomorrow morning?" she interrupted. "When will I even be seeing you again?"

Tris sighed. "Good question. But hopefully before my album release party," she said with hopeful inflection.

Chris gave a sad smiles. "I'm really happy for you. But I'm going to miss you. And when you're rich, please remember me."

"How could I forget you, Chris?"

"Oh, and promise me that you won't be a fame whore. Please don't get caught up in all those lights and cameras."

"I won't, Chris. I promise."

"Okay. Good. From there, you're on your own I guess. I love ya, Tris."

"I love you too, Chris."

Tris could tell that she was about to cry, but she held it together.

"Um, let's pack," she said excitedly, while pretending there were no tears in her eyes.

"Yeah," Tris sighed with a tense smile. "Let's pack."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"So you're the seraphical Tris Prior."

The flight across the pond was smooth. Tris and Tobias talked business most of the time, but there was some flirting that neither of them actually meant to sneak in. Tobias didn't mind though. He dropped off Tris at her new apartment, showed her around, left her on her own.

"Yes, Mr. Sweets, that's me. It's nice to meet you too."

"I'm very excited to have you in my studio, Ms. Prior. Let's get you in there. All you've got to do is put on those headphones, and when Eaton gives you the thumbs up, you can start singing… Hm. You know Shawn Mendes? Stitches?"

Tris laughs. "Of course. A fantastic song."

A new voice comes arises inside the room.

"Glad you think so."

Tris's eyes widened. "Is that…?"

"I'm Shawn. It's lovely to meet you. I watched a lot of your videos ever since Mr. Sweets told me you'd be demo-ing here. In case you haven't figured it out yet, Mr. Sweets does my producing."

Tris nodded with wide eyes. "That's… fun."

He laughed. "You'll learn to act natural eventually, Tris."

She nodded. "Sorry. I'm just… I'm not used to the environment."

"You'll be fine. Now get in that studio and do my song some justice."

Tris laughed. "Thanks, Shawn." She nervously entered the sound booth and put on the headphones. The background music began to play, so she took a deep breath, and then she did her thing.

Tobias was astonished. Sure, he'd heard her sing before, but in a sound booth and that particular song, she sounded… angelic. He could not think of any particular word to describe her voice. Hell, even herself.

Shawn sat next to Tobias, and Tobias smiled at him.

"She's fantastic," Shawn says. "Too bad there's no in-office dating, right?"

Tobias chuckled with a hint of jealousy. "Too bad."

He knew Tris would pick a guy like Shawn any day over a simple music producer's assistant, even if they _were_ permitted to date.

Which they weren't.

When Tris finished it, the boys in the studio were astounded. Sweets, Tobias, Shawn, and the tech guy.

"Holy shit," Sweets said.

Then, in a whisper, Tobias said, "She's better than Selena fucking Gomez."

"Don't tell Selena I said this, but, yeah, she is," Shawn said. "She's incredible. She sang that better than me. _And I wrote it, Eaton._ "

"Yeah. She's insanely good."

"You're a lucky man," Shawn says with a shake of the head.

He laughed. "What do you mean?"

"Have you seen the way she looks at you, man?" he said with a laugh.

"No. Don't think so," chuckled Tobias.

Shawn shook his head. "You'll figure it out soon enough."

"You continue to perplex me, Shawn Mendes."

He laughs. "So dramatic, Tobias. You'll learn how to love eventually."

"Quote from a new song?" Tobias asks.

"You know it. I better get going. And, uh, if things with you and Tris don't work out… Let me know."

He laughed. "Will do."

For the rest of the time, Tobias overheard Tris and Sweets's long conversation. He sat there in boredom as Sweets gave the long lecture he gave to every new rising star.

Toward the end, he mentioned that he'd like to hear Tris's original stuff the next day in the studio.

"Tobias, since you two live in the same apartment building, would you mind showing Tris the way? Can't have our next star getting lost, now can we?" Sweets laughed.

Tris chuckled. "Thank you again for this opportunity, Mr. Sweets," she said as she shook his hand.

"My pleasure. Now go rest those vocal chords. We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."

"Great," Tris said with an excited smile. "I'm looking forward to it."

"As am I."

Tris couldn't stop smiling as she walked out of the studio. It was silent when they entered the elevator—not even the elevator music was helping with the uncomfortable silence.

"You think I'm better than Selena Gomez?" she asked with an egotistical smile. "Did you mean that?"

He continued to stare straight. "I don't say things I don't mean, Tris. and besides, why does it matter what _I_ think? Shawn Mendes was sitting right next to me. Don't you care what he thinks more?"

She shrugs. "Not really. I mean sure, I admire his music, and, sure, he seems like a nice guy, but he's not someone who's opinion matters to me. I care about _your_ opinion."

"Why?" Tobias asked. He'd known this girl for a solid three days, and it perplexed him as to why his opinion would've mattered to her.

"I don't know. I guess I considered us friends."

He smirked. "That's fantastic, because I too consider us friends. And friends do fun stuff together. And fun stuff includes showing each other around the city. Would you like to do so?"

She laughed. "If that's what friends do."

"Alright. Show me the ropes, Tobias."

* * *

"Could I trouble you for a decimal coin?" Tris said with the ever-so-darling accent of hers. "No, a—a penny, is it?"

Tobias asked, "A penny?"

"Yes."

"To drop it off the building of course," she said like it was something common people did.

"Tris," Tobias said. "That's illegal."

"Illegal? As in against the law?" she asked, perplexed. "Doesn't everybody do it? You know. For luck."

"No, Tris. It could kill someone. Where did you learn that?"

"One of the kind, attractive boys I met on my way to the lavatory. They said that everyone does it."

He laughed. "Love. No, love. Nobody does that."

"I'm sorry. I'm so gullible."

He smiled. "It's okay, Tris. It's hard adjusting to American life. We're a bunch of weirdos."

Tris simply laughed, and then got closer to the edge of the Empire State Building.

"Don't you think it's just bloody lovely up here?" Tobias said.

Tris smirked. "Did you just say _bloody_?"

"Indeed. I'm trying to be funny due to the fact that I'm absolutely terrified right now."

"Oh, you're like Ross Geller from Friends. He once spoke in a British accent—a horrible one, might I add—and it was when he was nervous. It just, like, came out. Anyhow, I rant. I can't believe you just said bloody," she laughed.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I hide my fear by telling jokes. It's just how I function."

She smiled. "It's cute."

Tobias looked over the edge. "You know, Shawn was kinda into you."

She laughed. "Ah. I see. Another joke."

"Not a joke."

"Shawn Mendes. Into me?"

"Indeed."

"Bloody fucking hell, if I can get him to like me then the whole nation's going to go mad!" Tris exclaimed. "No dating policy though, right?"

"Right."

"A shame. A shame, it is." Tris winked.

He laughed. "So why haven't I heard one of your original songs yet?"

She shrugged. "Good question."

"Sing."

"Right here?" she asked incredulously.

"Right now," he answered.

"Oh. Um, okay."

"I hate that you don't care. You told me I was rare. You treated me like princess. Always gave me your caress. But now I know that you could care less, and that you only loved me when I undressed. Our love was a perfect storm, constantly keeping me warm. You told me that you loved me, then figured out I wasn't your cup of tea, so now you drink vodka. I hate myself for still waiting for you, when you're out there, craving somebody new."

Tobias was silent. Then, "Holy fucking hell."

"Good 'holy fucking hell' or bad 'holy fucking hell'?"

He laughed. "Good. Very good."

"I can't believe you made me sing a song on top of the Empire State Building."

"Everybody does it, Tris," he said with a wink.

"Oh, hardy har. I see what you did there. Anyway, let's go to one of those American coffee shops you all go to."

"Tris, you worked at a coffee shop in London. They're no different."

"Well, over here you Americans are all about technology. I mean, sure, so are we, but coffee shops are supposed to be for meeting with friends and loved ones. Not to write blogs or— or books. Just to sit down and enjoy company and coffee. Without technology."

Tobias nodded. "Let's go do that. Then we'll go to an orchestral concert in Central park."

"Brilliant. Let's go."

* * *

Tobias couldn't stop laughing at Tris's actions as they walked down the sidewalk. She was annoyed, but Tobias could tell it was jokingly. He let Tris rant at her own free will without any interruption from him. He was utterly amused by this woman.

"I mean, what _is it_ with you and your culture? If I order a _white coffee_ then I expect not to be questioned about what it is! They ought to know what a bloody white coffee is! And when I say I want _double cream_ , they ought to know that I mean hefty or heavy cream or whatever the bloody hell you Americans call it! And—"

"Tris, stay on the sidewalk. You can't just cross wherever you'd like. You have to wait for a crosswalk."

"First off, mister, it's called a footway. Not a sidewalk. Second, sure I can cross wherever I'd like. Cops catch me? I'll just say I'm some confused tourist and then get away with it. Third, it's called a pedestrian crossing. Or a zebra crossing. Whatever. But not a _crosswalk_."

He laughed again. "Okay, Tris. Just remember that you _are_ in America now. This is my land."

She groaned. "Knobhead."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I called you a knobhead!" Tris said, sticking her tongue out like a five-year-old child who just said a curse word.

"I'm not so sure that's an insult, love."

She crossed her arms as they stopped at the crosswalk. "It means, in Americans terms, _dickhead._ Except with the word _knob_."

"Oh, that's just _brilliant_ , Tris."

She scoffed. Then she incredulously asked, "Are you making fun of my culture now?"

" _Bloody hell_ , of course not," he said in a Brit's accent. "I'm just a _jolly_ old little _wanker_ who loves _bellends_! Would you like to _snog_ or _shag_ later, love? Oh, and then maybe we could get some _crumpets and tea_! But first we must finish our _white coffee_ and cross the _pedestrian and zebra crossing_!"

Tris showed contempt at his little mockery. Two could play it that game. She stopped in her tracks in the middle of the path at Central Park. "Oh, Tobias, get me, like, a cheeseburger, _shnookums_. I just love eating those, like, greasy diabetes. Before you go make sure you take your laptop for the coffee shop later! Oh, and, like, you and I should totally go for a walk on the _sidewalk_ tomorrow! Oh my, like, god. You and I would be, like, _relationship goals_."

He smirked, and then neared his face closer to hers, tipping her chin up with his finger. "You're kinda hot when you're mad."

Tris scoffed yet again, and then she kept walking without looking back.

Then he heard her yell, "Are you coming, knobhead?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _Hey guyssss, sorry about that whole not-updating-for-three-weeks thing. *nervously laughs* Anyway, I could use some feedback. Should I have them grow apart, or grow closer? If they grow apart, the story will likely better and longer, but if closer, then the length won't be as long. But if you want both, I can definitely make that happen. The end of this chapter might change your mind. Please let me know(:_

* * *

"That was fantastic, Tris. I love it. The lyrics are solid, your voice is beautiful, and you, well, are stunning. A little bit of a long nose… and you're hair could be longer… But we've got photoshop and hair extensions for that problem."

Tris consciously touched her nose.

"So how many originals ya got?"

She shrugged. "Three album's worth, at least."

"Okay. I'll pick about five to put on your album, and then we'll hire a writer for the rest."

"A writer?"

"Yes, to write your songs. She's written for Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, and even Selena Gomez. The biggest names of pop."

"Oh."

"Now, run that track again, Eaton. Tris, do it exactly like before, except make your inflection more… dynamic."

She nodded. "Got it."

When she did so, it sounded somewhat better. She was a little upset about the whole writing thing, but it was the price to pay in order to sing and do what she loved. A price she was definitely willing to pay.

Later that day, she went out to the bar a few blocks away from her new apartment. She planned on unpacking her things and going shopping to make her place more like a home, but a beer was much needed after finding out she wouldn't be writing her own songs. When she arrived at the bar, all she did was order a simple beer and watch the game. She could hold her alcohol, and since it was only a singular beer, she wasn't even buzzed. She'd gone back home after doing so at around 7:30.

She changed into her sweatpants and simple tee that read "Chelsea F.C." _(For you Americans, that's Chelsea Football Club. For you extra-American people, football is soccer.)_

Tris reached for her book lying on the table. It was the only thing she ever unpacked. The apartment came pre-furnished, which was convenient. About ten pages later and two songs into her indie playlist, she heard a knock on the door. The only person who knew where she lived was Tobias.

She curiously got up and opened the door, book still in hand. She was surprised when she saw who was on the other side.

"Hello," he said. "I noticed that we had a new neighbor. I heard you were British and just wanted to welcome you to America. Usually people say New Yorkers are mean, which is true, but I was born in small-town Ohio. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need anything, I'm usually available. Can't promise anything," he chuckled.

"Oh, well that's very sweet. Thank you. My name is Tris Prior and I indeed am from Britain."

He smiled. "I'm Uriah. Pedrad. Um, Uriah Pedrad."

"Would you like to come in for a beer?"

"As much as I'd love to, I made plans with my brother and I'm headed there now. Rain check?"

She nodded and smiled. "Lovely to meet you, Uriah."

"Same to you, Tris."

He gave her another kind smile, and then strode off.

Just as she sat down to continue reading her book, there was another knock at the door. Tris groaned and set her book down. All she wanted to do was read her book. That was all.

She got up yet again, and when she opened the door, she didn't see her newfound Ohioan friend like she'd expected. What she saw— _who_ she saw—was much more exciting than any stranger. He was wearing pajama pants with a t-shirt that read: "Chicago Cubs." He was also barefoot. The cutest part, though, was the warm, shy, and kind smile he gave her.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Tobias Eaton."

He laughed. "Hi, Tris."

"Come in," she told him, offering an altruistic smile. "What're you doing here?"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and I happened—"

"We live in the same block of flats, Tobias," she told him as she chuckled. "What're you actually doing here?"

"Okay, you got me. I was just checking up. Seeing how the unpacking's going." He glanced at the few boxes and laughed. "Clearly not very well."

She shook her head. "I just want to read or watch some movies tonight. Not unpack. You know?"

He was silent for a few moments, but then smirked a smirk that Tris knew it meant he was up to no good.

She raised an eyebrow. "What're you thinkin' in that pretty head of yours?"

"What would you say if I, hypothetically, suggested that we build a fort and watch a bunch of romcoms?"

She laughed. "Well I'd hypothetically say yes."

"Well I think I'd hypothetically love that."

"I'm terrified I'd hypothetically get caught in the romcom world and try to kiss you."

He nodded to show understanding. "If I were to kiss you back, or first, during this whole night, what would you do?—Hypothetically speaking, of course."

She cleared her throat then said confidently, "Hypothetically, we'd be standing a little like this,"—Tris stepped closer to him so their noses were a millimeter away from touching—"and my hands would be somewhere like this, maybe…"—she put her hands on his chest, one on his heart, and one on the opposite side—"Oh, and perhaps I'd remark something like, 'Wow, you're heart is beating exceptionally fast.' And you're hands would be, I don't know,"—Tris removed her hands from his chest and took his in hers, then put them on her waist—"possibly here. And, it being that I have quite led you on over the night, flirting, teasing… things of that sort, you lean in to kiss me, like so." Tris took her finger and put it under his chin, nearing his lips to hers. She could tell he didn't have any strength left. "And then, having cardiophobia, which is the fear of the heart, I would, hypothetically, instantly pull away. Like this." Tris pursed her lips, urging herself to step back.

She couldn't.

"Stuck in mud, Tris?" he asked with a hint of sour love and bittersweet hate.

She closed her eyes and looked down. "More like concrete."

He chuckled. "I'll do it for you."

Tobias stepped back a little with a sad smile on his face. "Want to build a fort and watch a bunch of romcoms?"

"Yes," she said as she looked back up. Her bright eyes back inside those blue-gray capsules, always, always, _always,_ seemed to calm Tobias in a way that no other's could.

He smiled. "My place?"

She nodded. "Sounds brilliant."

So off they went, down the hall, last door on the left, to the place where Tris's happiness awaited her.

When she stepped inside, she observed her surroundings. It was similar to her own apartment in many ways, which was why she didn't spend too much time getting down to business.

She helped Tobias flip the two couches and gather every pillow in the entire apartment. There were around twenty pillows and seven blankets. They laid down pillows inside the fort, then covered them with a blanket. The couches were about five feet apart, lying on their sides, so they covered the top with blankets. Tobias put Notting Hill into the DVD player, and then hopped inside the fort beside Tris.

She smiled at him, and he pressed play.

Tobias and Tris watched the movie. Not only would Tris quote certain parts, but so would Tobias. He would frequently quote William, while Tris would quote Anna. Tobias ranted about the honey-soaked apricots, and Tris found that absolutely adorable. She was glad he could enjoy more than just horror and action films—which she liked too. About an hour after that, she quoted this, looking Tobias dead in the eye: "Remember that I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

In that moment, Tobias looked at me with a look that consisted of nothing but admiration. He looked like he could kiss her at any given moment.

He didn't.

When the movie was over, it was about ten o'clock, and Tris knew she should've been going home, so she stood and got out from the fort.

"I should probably be getting home…," she said, even though she didn't want to.

"What? What is this, a one-movie stand? Get back here."

"Tobias…"

He sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this, but…" He got up and pulled her into the fort. He put his hands on her waist, and then began tickling her. She squirmed around and, eventually, she underneath of Tobias, and, if she was being totally honest with herself, she didn't mind it. She flipped him over, and, even though she knew he could easily break from her grasp and pin her, he stayed put.

They were silent and breathing heavily.

Tris slowly leaned down, then moved her lips to his ear. "You got a thing for Brits?"

"Nope," he said softly. "Just you."

"What a shame, because all we are is friendly coworkers." She swung her leg off of him, got out of their makeshift fort, and then into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. Tobias made her throat dry, if she was being candid.

He followed her into the kitchen.

"Why do you do that?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you come _this_ close to kissing me"—he pinched his fingers so they were about a millimeter apart—"and then not go through with it? I know you want to. I can see it in your eyes, Tris."

She shrugged. "I do want you. I want every piece of you. I want your lips on mine all the time. I want so much more than just your body. And I don't know why."

"Why?"

"I myself don't know the answer to that question. I've only known you for about a week, and it feels like years. I'm pretty confused about it. But I know that I can't date you. I'm not about to lose a record deal for a crazy, wild, American broad. The company never said anything about flirting though, did they?"

He shook his head. "This hardly feels like _flirting,_ Tris."

She threw him an inquisitive look.

"I don't want you to be something I can never have. When we were out in London showing me around, and when I showed you around New York, _that_ was flirting. Now… Now you're just dangling a bone directly above me, as if I was a dog."

"So, what, you just want me to stop?"

He laughed and shook his head again. "That's the thing. I don't think I want you to."

She sighed, but also, she was smiling. She neared him, wrapping her arms around his neck, then leaned in toward his lips. "Why do I have this feeling that you're about to mess up my whole life?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **-One Month Later-**

* * *

"We have to stop this."

They sat on a bench facing the sea of New York in a small park near their apartments. Runners, bikers, hobos, and vendors sauntered by, unaware of the conversation the two were having.

"You always say that, Tris," Tobias said as he looked to the blue ocean.

"I know. It's because I'm not strong enough to stay away from you and actually go through with what I say."

Tobias didn't respond. He simply turned to her with a soft look, and she returned it.

They weren't touching; they never did in public. Only at home. _A lot_ at home to make up for what they couldn't do normally.

"Your eyes," she said, "are the color of the ocean. I could stare into them and drown completely. Except I wouldn't mind it. Drowning. In fact, I'd probably love it, because being with you, I feel like I am. You know, drowning," she said again. "I feel as if I'm losing air every day I'm with you, because as the days go by, I realize a little bit more that maybe I don't want to catch my breath. I want to try to avoid those eyes, but I don't think I can."

"Tris," he said forlornly. "You deserve so much better than me and this stupid record company and this stupid city. You really do. You don't need a better nose, extensions, or photoshopped. A record company in LA could offer you so much better. So a week or two after your single is dropped, you'll likely sign with Sweets. But what my boss won't tell you is that you have a choice. You can stay with Sweets, or you can go to another company, probably in LA since there's only one other music producer in NYC. This is how my boss traps inexperienced singers. I beg of you, love, please go to LA."

Tris sat upright. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," he said, "that if you love something, you need to let it go."

Tris was silent.

"And you're my something," he added.

"That is total _bullshit._ If you love something you should keep that thing in your life forever because you never know if you'll find a better love than that one. Never, ever, ever let that person go."

Tobias grabbed her hand. "We still have a month and a half. Let's make the most of it."

Tris shook her head. "I'm not letting you go. Not now, and not in a month and a half. You're all I have in America."

He smiled. "Let's stay up until midnight and play old records and bake brownies half-naked and make Oreo milkshakes and kiss until our lips burn."

* * *

Tris woke up at around 6 P.M., throwing on a giant shirt, and that's all, and she walked out into the kitchen.

"Good evening, sunshine."

"You're making brownies?" she asked with a tired smile.

He nodded, smirking.

"I love you."

He stopped stirring the batter, probably because all of his energy was put into his smile.

"I love you too."

Tris walked toward him to hug him from behind, so she slid her hands down his back, then ever so slowly to his waist.

"Sing me a song," he says softly.

"A song?"

He nodded. "Your voice is just like heaven."

"All along, it was a fever. A cold sweat, hot-headed believer. I threw my hands in the air and said, 'Show me somethin'.' He said, 'If you dare, come a little closer…' Round and around and around and around we go. Oh, now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know. Not really sure how to feel about it. Somethin' in the way you move makes me feel like I can't live without you. It takes me all the way. I want you to stay…"

"It's not much of a life you're livin'... it's not just something you take, it's given."

Tris was shocked at his voice. She'd never heard him sing before that moment, and it was beautifully stunning. She began to wonder why she'd never heard it before.

He continued, smirking. "Round and around and around and around we go. Oh, now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know. Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move."

Tris kissed him, pressing him against the counter.

"Makes me feel like I can't live without you," Tobias whispered. He grabbed her hand, entwining them.

There was a small pause, but then Tris gave a small chuckle. "I don't know how you expect me to just drop everything and leave you, Tobias."

"I don't know how I expect myself to _handle_ you dropping everything and leaving me, Tris."

Her fingers soothingly stroked his. "What if… I mean, maybe you could—Never mind. Never mind."

"What?"

She shrugged. "It was a stupid idea. Forget it."

"Tris."

She rolled her eyes. "I was just going to suggest you come with me, but—"

"That's not a stupid idea."

"It's a very stupid idea," she said. "I can't just expect you to drop everything for a girl."

He shrugged. "But I would do it. I would do anything for you."

"Why?"

He shrugged again, but added a little bit of a laugh. "Because that's what you do when you love someone."

"So why do you tell me that you need to let me go? You're contradicting yourself here, Tobias."

"Because you've worked so hard on your career. You're going to go places. I just know it. And I refuse to let myself hold you back."

"And that's how I feel. You're going to be a great music producer someday. And I refuse to let myself hold you back."

"So we're over, then," he said softly.

"When I leave for LA, then, yeah, I guess we are."

"Then I guess we better make the most of it, huh?"

Tris reached behind Tobias, dipping her finger in the brownie bowl. She lifted her finger up, then smeared it on his face.

"I suppose we should," Tris said.

She pretended to be drunk on laughter and high on happiness, because that's what one did when they hid their sadness.

* * *

"I love it, Tris. Love it. But. Just one but. I need you to not act so sweet when you sing. You can't just get these random smiles when you sing. The little things like this will help you become better on your tour and when you perform live."

Tris gave a sour chuckle. "You said you wanted something totally original and pure and you're telling me to do the exact opposite. The very first day I came here, you told me you wanted me not to morph into society's perfect picture and you told me you wanted my originals and you told me that I wouldn't have to change. I should've realized then that everything you told me was bullshit."

"Tris, we still want that original look of yours…except modified just the slightest bit."

"If you want me to release a single with you, then it's going to be an original, and I don't give a flying fuck what you say. I _will_ leave."

He looked worried. "This is a new Tris. Feisty. This could do so much for publicity," he muttered to himself. "Okay. You can do your original. You know what? I'll even let Tobias produce it. You know, help you out a little. You two seem to be getting along well enough."

Tris smirked. So _this_ was how she could get what she wanted. Be assertive rather than passive.

"Sounds wonderful," she said. "Could you leave the room while him and I work and discuss?"

He nodded. "Of course, Ms. Prior. You two get it done." He walked out, and then Tris and Tobias broke out into sudden laughter.

"Damn, Tris. I find your level of feistiness intriguing."

She shrugged. "I've been too afraid to speak up until the conversation we had yesterday."

Tobias walked toward her, looking like he was about to kiss her.

"Cameras," Tris said as she walked away. Then she winked.

She sauntered into the studio with her head held high and her voice ready to sing a hit original.

"Sing me an original. The one you think should be your single," Tobias said through the microphone to hear into the sound booth.

She nodded. "Okay. Here's 'Balanced.'"

The overall song was breathtaking. It was about a girl and a boy, like every other song. But this—this was stunning and odd. The tune she created on the piano was striking, demanding one's attention. The girl in the song was emotionally unstable on a totally different level of a hormonal teen; she had a medical condition. The boy she loved was her cure, though. The only cure. She was totally balanced when she was with this boy. The twist, though, was that there was a second part to the song. It's separate, and will probably go onto her debut album. She first showed it to him the previous week. It was about how the boy left her, and so she remained unbalanced and unhealthy for the rest of her days. So the second song was called "Unbalanced."

Depressing, but beautiful; something the song and their relationship had in common.

 _(I did write these, and I've never actually written songs before, but I gave it my best shot -kindontheeyes)_

"Spinning

Spinning through the black vortex

My head in a hex

Your ghost never fails to keep me awake

And when I reach for you,

It's then that I realize you're see-through

And behind these eyes there's a lake

A lake just waiting to overflow

And so, and so I go…

Don't let me go

Don't let me feel

Don't let me…

Don't let me love

And when you leave me once again

I find out that in the end

It was all just in my head

It was all just in my head

So when I tell you not to leave

Do you believe that I'm lying?

And when you tell me you love me

How can I know you're saying it honestly?

It could all just be for show

And so, and so I go

Don't let me go

Don't let me feel

Don't let me…

Don't let me love

You are my cure

Always leave me wantin' more

But baby when you're away,

My sanity seems to fade

Don't let me go

Don't let me feel

Don't let me…

Don't let me love

[begin rap]

The black hole is you

Oh, yes, it's you

The black hole is growing

But when you're away from me

Oh, when you're away from me

The black hole shrinks

Suffocating me

I don't want it to shrink

Cause when it shrinks I'm unable to breathe

And when the hole grows

Oh when it grows

It shows

Oh my god, it glows

Even though

It was all an accident

You're the reason I'm so

Balanced.

[end rap]

The vortex is growing

And now, I don't know what I am undergoing

Is it a sickness?

Is it a virus?

So tell me, what can fix me?

Is it a pill?

Am I mentally ill?

Oh no,

I can feel it going downhill

Don't let me go

Don't let me feel

Don't let me…

Don't let me love

Our love was an accident

But I've never been so balanced

Oh, so balanced."

When Tris was done singing, she was grinning.

"That was amazing," he said. "And I'm not just saying that because you happen to be my favorite person in the world. But you're open to suggestion, aren't you?" he asked somewhat anxiously.

She nodded. "Of course."

"Well…okay. First off, I'd love of you could just emphasize a little more. Add dynamics at dramatic parts that need to be, you know, dramatized. Second, I love that grin on your face, unlike my uncultured swine of a boss. It's genuine. It shows that singing is what you truly love. Keep that up for sure. Third, I know you're not emotionless. Show some feelings at certain parts, just like the whole dynamic thing. These three things will take you a lot farther in your singing. Just try it. But on another note, those lyrics were absolutely fantastic. They will definitely speak to people on a whole other level."

She nodded, with a slight blush. "Thank you. But, yeah, I can do that. The things you suggested. Could I try a different song, though? I'll do everything you suggested. But this one, I believe, will be a good single if we so choose to release it. It's called 'You.'"

"Do you know,

Do you know your pain is mine?

Do you know,

Do you know I can feel your hurt when you say that you're fine?

So why do you even bother to lie?

You need to release me of my pain

Just wash it all away

Just wash it away into another day

I tried my best to leave

I tried not to need

You

But then I came

But then I came unglued

You need to release me of my pain

Just wash it all away

Just wash it away into another day

I had everything to lose

But nonetheless,

I still continue

To crawl back to you

Yeah, I keep crawlin' back to you

[piano solo]

So now we're through

So now we're through

Your pain is no longer mine

And now I'm just happy all the time

I'm done crawling back to you

Yes I'm done

Oh I'm done with you!

Yeah I hope your heart is cold

Now that mine is gold

and I hope you die alone

So that the only pain you feel is your own

So thanks,

For releasing me of my pain

For washing it all away

For washing it away

Into a never-to-come day."

So when Tobias observed her as she sang the song, and he was smiling the same way Tris would when she was singing. It was the little changes that made the song sound fantastic.

"That sounded so much better," she said with a surprised chuckle. "You're good at this. Better than that uncultured swine."

He laughed. "Thank you. But later I'm going to try to convince him to keep you natural. For example, your upcoming photoshoot. I want no photoshop whatsoever. Not even filters or too-bright lighting or anything like that."

She agreed with a nod. "That would be awesome."

"Now," he said, "let's record that so that it sounds exactly the same when you perform live on your world tour." He winked at her.

She laughed. "Sounds like a plan."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Lights and cameras. Cameras and lights.

A camera, then a blinding flash to follow it.

One after the other.

And another.

And another.

She ran down the street from the coffee shop to her apartment.

When she reached the main glass door, she hurried up, grabbed the key, and unlocked it. She shut the door, knowing they had no legal rights to cross that boundary.

The paparazzi swarmed around her door, still taking pictures.

She angrily thrusted her hand toward that glass, causing a sound, then put up her middle finger.

 _How do you like that, assholes?_ she thought. Then she strode up to Tobias's apartment.

"Sweetie, I'm home!" she yelled. "And, boy, have I got a story for you."

He came out of the bathroom door with just jeans and his hair wet.

He laughed. "Let's see… it's only eight o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, so I'm quite curious as to what could've happened."

She smirked. "I just got run down by the paparazzi for the… fourth time this week, I believe."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I guess I should've gone to get the muffins."

"It's fine," she said with a smile. "You couldn't have known that was going to happen. Seriously, don't worry about it."

He smiled, as if he got a bright idea. He put on his shoes, told Tris he loved her, and her back, then he was out the door.

Tris sat on the couch and began to read. Her mind strayed to other topics though.

Her single was released two weeks ago, and absolutely blew up (hence the paparazzi). She had an upcoming meeting with Sweets Productions. She was terrified and also excited. Terrified because she didn't want to leave Tobias, but excited, because she wanted to get to work on her album.

He dropped the book and picked up her phone to call Christina. They often talked, at least twice a week.

"Hey, bud," Christina said.

"Hey, love."

"What's up? You usually don't call until my evening when you're on your lunch break."

Tris sighed. "I'm in a predicament. The one I always talk about."

Christina sighed along with Tris. "Okay. So I was thinking yesterday when all of the sudden I got a wonderful idea… What if you made, like, demands, to the record companies. So, for example, you would demand that Tobias be your producer for someone in LA. Can you do that? Is that a thing?"

Tris's mouth hung open. "That's genius. Why didn't I think of that?"

Christina laughed. "So why don't you just stay in New York and demand that of Sweets? And besides, these companies should be begging for Tobias to produce your music after that kick-ass single 'You.'"

Tris smirked. "They should. But I don't think Sweets will let me write totally originally, and they'll completely transform what I'm all about when it comes the time to make my album."

"Okay. So when you have the meeting, view your best options. On your top three, it'd be Tobias as a producer, original songs, and original look, right?"

"Yeah."

"So whatever company offers you that and more, go with that one."

"I still have to talk to Tobias about it though. I mean, he may not want to just drop everything and move to LA with me, you know?"

Chris laughed. "Of course he will."

"What do you mean 'of course he will?' You don't even know him."

"I feel like I do though. He loves you, Tris, and from the way you talk about him, you're really in love with him too."

This brought a smile to Tris's face. "Well, yeah. Of course I'm in love with him. We're like Superman and Lois Lane. We're each other's worlds."

"Do you think he's the one?"

"What?"

"You know. _The one._ "

"I don't know if he's _the one,_ Chris. There's no way to tell the future, but what I do know is that I wouldn't be totally opposed to the idea of us being each other's _one_ in the very distant future."

"Tris, if you don't marry this boy in your lifetime, then you're an absolute idiot."

"We've been together about three months. It's too early to start thinking about that stuff."

She heard Christina laugh. "Okay, Tris. Okay. I've gotta go now. I have a business dinner party. I'll call you tomorrow."

Tris smiled. "Okay. Thanks, Chris. Love you."

"Love you too, Trissy-Poo."

She chuckled, then heard Tobias come inside the apartment.

She suddenly began to feel butterflies in her stomach.

But she put on a smile anyway.

Tris turned around, seeing him for the first time. He carried a moderately large teddy bear about the size of Tris's upper-half and a box of muffins.

She got up off the couch, grinning, and slowly walked over to Tobias with a bashful grin. He handed her the teddy bear, and she observed the object carefully.

"I shall name him Lieutenant Hugglesworth ll," she said as she wore the smile she knew drove Tobias crazy (in a good way).

"Lieutenant Hugglesworth ll," repeated Tobias as they walked into the kitchen.

"Well, it was either that, or Ron, and Ron is no fun, wouldn't you say?" she said coyly.

He laughed and shook his head. He set down the box of muffins on the counter, then leaned back against it.

"Thank you," she said, leaning in to hug him. She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arms squeezed her waist, which made Tris's butterflies suddenly disappear.

"I love you," she said. "So much. So very much. And in case no one's ever told you this, I appreciate you. And I value you. And you _do_ matter. And you _are_ important. And I absolutely 100% adore you."

He pulled back smiling. "How?" he said admiringly.

"How, what?" she asked, chuckling.

"How on Earth did I ever get so lucky, and what did I do to deserve someone as spectacular as you?"

She laughed. "I don't know. But I've learned not to question things like that. Only to appreciate them."

"Appreciate them," he repeated, beginning to understand.

Tris grabbed the tie to his dress shirt, drawing him closer, then lightly kissed him. "Yeah. So why don't you take me back to the bedroom and show me just how much you appreciate me?"

Tris kissed him again, making him an offer he simply could not refuse. "Enticing," he muttered. "Very, very, enticing. But we have to be in the studio in a half hour. And with New York traffic…," he said, wandering off as his lips travelled down her neck.

She moaned.

And so Tobias lost all control.

* * *

"Bloody hell, why can't I hit that f sharp correctly?" she yelled incredulously as she paced around the sound booth. "I am _rubbish._ An absolute wanker, Tobias!"

Tobias couldn't help but smirk. Her British side really came out when she got mad.

He got up and followed her into the sound booth, his back to window where people could see him. Both Sweets (his boss) _and_ Shawn were watching. He didn't want them reading his lips, so he made sure they didn't see his face. And they couldn't hear them speak because the sound was turned off.

"Tris," he said. "You are not rubbish, and you are not a wanker—whatever that is." Tris glared at him, which caused him to chuckle. "Are you just nervous because Sweets and Shawn are watching?"

"Not your boss. Just Shawn. I mean, he's kind of a big deal," she laughed.

"You know, when you first got here, he had a bit of a crush on you."

"What?" she asked, keeping her cool.

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"Bloody hell, why didn't you tell me that before we started dating?" she teased in a low voice as she looked down. He could tell she didn't want them to read her lips either.

He laughed. "Too late now. You're mine."

She rolled her eyes. "Dammit."

He shook his head while chuckling. "We're getting off-topic. Is there anything I can do to make you hit that f sharp?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I mean, it's just something I have to do on my own. Although," she said, pretending to be upset and put her face in her hands, covering her mouth, "a kiss wouldn't exactly make me do worse."

He smirked. "You have no idea how much I'd love that at the moment, but we can't. Later, though. I promise," said Tobias with a wink.

She removed her hands and frowned. "Fine."

"I love youuuu," he said coyly as he made his way to the door.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled, and then put her headphones back on.

He came out with a serious straight face, then turned the sound on. "Ready, Tris?"

"As I'll ever be."

Tobias started to play the piano track they recorded the previous day, and then she sang.

And when she sang the chorus, she absolutely nailed the f sharp.

As she finished the song, Sweets said something to Tobias.

"You two work well together."

Tobias only nodded, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shawn trying to hide a knowing smirk.

After Tris sang, she had a large grin as she opened the door to the sound booth.

Sweets stood up.

"Tobias, what would you say if I made you head producer of the entire company? You would produce for not only Tris, but also others. She—Tris—will be your primary focus right now though. I'm sick of producing _and_ running the company. It's too much. I need _you_ to produce, and you're clearly much better at it than I. The assistant producers will help you out with it though. But you, you deserve this, especially after seeing you produce a hit single that's already #5 in the world."

Tobias's jaw was dropped, and Tris's large grin transformed into an enormous one.

"Y-yes, sir. Oh my god, yes. Absolutely."

He smiled. "Wonderful. We'll discuss technicalities later. Meanwhile, I need to have a meeting with the assistant producers, letting them know who their new boss is. And now I need a new intern," he chuckled.

"Okay. Thank you, sir. So much."

He smiled, then went out the door.

Tobias and Tris and Shawn all looked at each other in amazement and silence.

"Oh my god," Tobias laughed. "I'm going to be the head producer for one of the largest music production companies in the world."

"Oh my god," Tris laughed. Tobias saw pride in her eyes—she was proud of him. That was all he ever wanted. To make her proud to be his.

"Oh my god," Shawn said, joining. "Wait," Shawn said, "does this mean that you can kinda change the old rules? 'Cause the old head producer Mike was the one who created the rule. Sweets just kinda went with it. He never really _enforced_ it. So you could take away that rule, right?"

Tobias's eyes lit up. "That's correct. In-office relationships are officially permitted," he declared with a wild smile at Tris.

Shawn smiled. "I called it from the beginning. I _so_ called it," he said excitedly.

"What?" Tris asked, smirking. She knew that he knew about them.

"You two," he said, as if it were obvious. "You guys are dating."

Both Tris and Tobias were silent.

"For how long?" Shawn asked.

"Two, maybe three," Tobias answers.

"Weeks?"

"Months," Tris said with a chuckles. "About three weeks after I arrived in America."

Shawn's eyebrows rose. "Wow. So you two are probably pretty serious then, aren't you?"

Tris and Tobias met eyes.

Tris and Tobias looked down, Tris pretending to play with her hair, and Tobias pretending to scratch his neck. They started muttering incoherent things that were completely indirect answers. They were messy and flustered about the answer to the question, which was something rare for the both of them.

"Sorry," Shawn said, laughing. "Anyway, I need to get to work on writing. I'll see you two later." He hugged Tris, then did a little bro-hug-type-thing with Tobias. "Congrats, man."

Tobias smiled. "Thanks, Mendes."

So Shawn walked out with a smile on his face, leaving Tris and Tobias alone.

Tris fixed his collar, even though it wasn't messed up.

"I'm so, so proud of you, Tobias," she said softly. "You deserve this. You're going to be great."

He smiled. "I really do love you."

She pulled him in by his collar and kissed him. It was a light kiss; one that made her feel like she was on top of the world or in the clouds.

Tris stepped away from him before she got too tempted. "I love you too. Very much, actually."

"Is that so?" he asked.

"Indeed," she said, smiling. She walked over to the couch to grab her phone and jacket.

She skimmed through her messages from Christina as she talked to Tobias. One read: _Look at this immediately! Did you know about this?_

"So, do you want to… Go to, uh, dinner…," she muttered with a confused look at her phone. Then suddenly, realization struck her when she saw the attached photo.

"Fuck," she whispered. "Tobias," Tris called, louder this time. "You have to see this."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"How…," he said. "How did they even get that? We checked everywhere to make sure there weren't any of them. I… ugh, I'm sorry, Tris."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault."

Tris stared at the picture on the phone screen. It was a photo of a newspaper headline reading _Prior & the Producer: A Perfect Passion?_ The image was of her and Tobias walking around at the park two days ago. They were standing still on the trail, Tris looking up at him affectionately, and him looking down at her the same exact way. Their pinkies were twined together, hooked, barely holding on to each other. When she thought about it, it was actually a wonderful picture of them, but it was something she didn't want the entire world to see.

She was fairly confident Tobias was thinking the same thing.

* * *

"Oh, man. The New York Tattler. I hate those guys. Most of them are rumors, unless they have photo evidence. Which, in our case, they do. This probably hit social media any minute if it already hasn't. Your fans will likely go ballistic."

Tris paused. "Well, at least it's a cute a picture," she mumbled.

He laughed. "It _is_ pretty great, isn't it?"

She smiled. "I guess the whole thing really won't be that big of a deal. Anyway, do you want to go to dinner tonight? Celebratory promotion dinner?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Well, do you want me to make dinner?" she offered.

He shook his head again. "Not really."

She smirked and put a hand on her hip. "Do you want to make pancakes half-naked and watch romcoms and have a second round?"

He nodded. "That sounds much better."

"Hm," she said, walking out, "we'll see." Then a wink, and she was out the door.

* * *

When Tris arrived home at three o'clock after recording, she got to work. She knew Tobias would be home at around five, and she needed some time.

First, she turned on music, essential to getting any work done at all.

Second, she began to create a large fort in the middle of the living room. It was bigger than they usually made it. It had a lot of blankets, pillows, and snacks.

Third, she lit candles in the living room and bedroom. She made a small pathway from the door to the kitchen table, where his _real_ love would await.

Pancakes.

Before she made those, she changed into nothing fancy—just pajama bottoms with a tank top, where the pajama bottoms had a bunch of Batman symbols on them. So, yeah, Tris was really setting her standards high.

Then she began to make the pancakes around 4:50, so they'd still be warm when he got home.

She placed the pancakes, a bowl of strawberries (which was his favorite with pancakes and waffles), and whipped cream on the table.

Suddenly she heard the door shut as she was leaning over to place everything on the table.

She turned around, grinning. "Hi."

He looked around his apartment, smiling. "Hello."

"Um," she said apprehensively, "I made pancakes. With strawberries. And whipped cream," Tris added, her anxiety kicking in.

He chuckled as he walked toward her. "I love you." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and she leaned her head on his chest comfortably.

"I love you too," she said softly.

He pulled back, seeming like he hadn't wanted to. "These pancakes are about as irresistible as you."

Tris stood in front of the door. That door was the barrier between Sweets, Tobias, and a record deal. Out of all of the things she went through in her life, that door— _that_ _fucking door—_ was going to prevent her from reaching her dreams. She didn't know if she was strong enough to grasp the handle. Or if she could turn it. Or if she could push it open. The hardest part, though, was simply reaching out the grab the handle.

She stood there for at least two straight minutes contemplating scenarios about what would happen if she went in; one of which concluded in the entire building burning down.

Reaching out, her hand hovered above the metal handle, and then she firmly grasped it, twisted it ninety degrees, then pushed the door open.

She strode in, exuding confidence she didn't actually have.

There was a singular chair across the table from the two of them.

Tobias and Tris didn't speak about the meeting since the apartment and the brownies and the overall evening. Tobias didn't know what decision she would make, which was quite unnerving for him, Tris could tell.

"Ah, Ms. Prior. Shall we begin?"

She nodded.

"Alright. Let's get down to business. The contract, in a nutshell, states that you must stay for a one-album deal. If you want out after that, then you may produce with a different company. Many successful singers choose to stay with their original company/producer, but unsuccessful…not so much. Anyhow, it also includes how your producer may do anything he or she wants to do with your career path. I may step in, but only in extreme cases. So you might want to trust this guy," Sweets said, motioning to Tobias.

When Sweets was looking down at the contract, Tobias threw her a wink.

"That's just the major stuff. The little things are just like how you get to live in the apartment and what not. Also, I forgot to mention this. You much reach a certain number in sales amount for a tour. Usually what happens is that there's a national tour for the first album, then, if the second album is extremely successful, you will go on a world tour. Feel free to read if you'd like."

Tris took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out.

"One question," she said quietly. "May I pursue a completely professional in-office relationship with a coworker?"

He deliberated. "I suppose that was Mike's rule, wasn't it?"

The question itself was a rhetorical one, so neither of them answered.

"I don't believe it says anything in the contract, so I can't do anything about it. So, yes, it is permitted. But I ask of you that you keep it professional in the office and studio."

She smirked, leaning forward, putting her elbows on the table.

"Then where do I sign?"

—

"You did it," he said. "Why?"

Tris and Tobias were on their way home together, walking on the sidewalk filled with a bunch of New Yorkers and tourists.

"1) You're here, 2) I kind of love you, 3) You inspire me, 4) You're my producer now, and you practically control my career, and, 5) It's what you do when you love somebody, Tobias."

He didn't respond.

Then, "I'm afraid, Tris."

She was perplexed.

"I'm afraid that fame is going to get to you and you'll change and you'll become addicted to the attention and you'll leave me for some hot and famous actor like—like Henry Cavill; that British one who plays Superman."

"We actually knew each other in high school… I wonder how he's doing now outside of acting. You know, with being fam—"

"Not my point, Tris."

"Right," she muttered. "I just really find it hard to believe that you think I might actually change and become someone I'm not, you know? You're my world, and for you to think that… It hurts, Tobias. And besides, you're, like, just as buff as Henry, so it's not like you've got anything to worry about," she said, making it clear she was upset.

Tobias sighed. "You're right. I should know you well enough to be confident you won't change for the worse. I'm sorry."

Tris frowned, still. "It's all right. Just... I'm going home."

"Home?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'll see you later then?"

She shrugged for an answer, then left him standing there, motionless.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _Hi, Mom,_ Tris began. _It's me. Tris. It's been a while hasn't? At least a year or two. In fact, I don't even know if this is your address anymore. Anyway, I thought you should know that I'm currently in America recording. As of right now, my song is #8 in the country. I just thought that maybe for once you'd see that I'm not a failure at what I do. My singing has gotten me places and isn't a waste of time. When you never believed in me, I never gave up, even though the odds were slim. But I made it._

 _I made it, Mom._

 _So am I good enough for your gold star now? Am I successful enough to make you proud? Am I acceptable enough in your book now? Am I satisfying enough so that when your friends hear me on the radio, they go "Wow, Natalie, you're daughter is so talented"?_

 _Don't answer those questions when or if you even return my letter. I want you to sit there and think about it. Think about if I'm good enough. Think about how all the times you put me down that I got back up. Think about how now, I'm disappointed in you. Not the other way around. Not now, and not ever again._

 _So thank you, Natalie, for absolutely nothing._

 _I hope you can finally put a gold star n next to my name on the refrigerator._

 _-Tris_

She stared at the letter as she leaned back into her chair at her apartment, satisfied with herself.

"What've you got there?"

Tris whipped around to see Tobias with a curious look on his face as he leaned against the door frame.

"Nothing," she said too-quickly. "Absolutely nothing at all."

She swiftly turned around and folded the letter, then stuffed it into the envelope. She'd already filled in the outside of it with the sending and return address. There was no going back.

"I'm going to go for a walk," she said, walking past him with the envelope in hand. "I'll be back soon."

Tobias caught up to her as she slipped her shoes on. "Can I join you?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather you didn't." Then she hurriedly opened the door, stepped out, and then shut.

She was at the elevator five seconds later, then realized how she was acting. So Tris walked back to her door and opened it, only to see Tobias standing there the exact same way he was when she left.

Tris grabbed Tobias's hands, stood on her tiptoes, and then gave him a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

And so she walked out of the door for the second time that day.

Clear my head, she thought. Yeah, right.

She didn't actually need to think. Well, she needed to think, but her mind was just completely blank to the extent of where it was impossible for her to do so.

So she just sat there in the park after she mailed the letter.

And then she continued to not think. It was peaceful.

Until she heard ringing.

"Hello?" Tris answered groggily.

"We've got news!" Christina chanted excitedly.

Tris perked up. "Okay… I'm listening."

"Shauna, Marlene, Will, and I are moving to New York City!"

Tris's jaw dropped, and she almost began to jump up and down out of excitement. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "Holy bollocks!"

Christina squealed. "We're living in the heart of the city, all four of us. We found reasonably priced apartments. And guess what job I've gotten."

"What?" Tris asked, containing her elation.

"National Geographic photographer!"

"Christina!"

"It's always been my dream, and now it's finally coming true. And they offered Will a job there too!"

"This is so surreal," Tris laughed.

"Surreal, but nice," Christina quoted.

"We have to watch Notting Hill when you get here," Tris demanded. "What about Mar and Shauna though? What's up with them?"

"Shauna is a curator for the Metropolitan art museum and Marlene is going to be cooking at Le Bernardin, one of the most famous restaurants in New York."

"And you guys will all be living in the same complex?"

"You bet," Christina said.

"Bollocks, this is fantastic news. Everyone I care about all in the same city. Bloody hell, Christina, I didn't realize how much I missed you all. When will you arrive here?"

"Our flight leaves tomorrow, and we'll arrive in New York at around 0500."

Tris laughed. "They say 'five o'clock' here."

"What in the bloody bollocks is that?"

She laughed again. "I don't know. But none of these knob heads know what the hundred time thing is, so I've adapted to the whole 'o'clock' thing."

"What a bunch of wankers there."

"Right?"

Christina laughed. "Okay. Well I've lots of packing to do. I'll see you tomorrow," she said eagerly.

Tris grinned. "Okay. See you tomorrow, Chrissy."

So she hung up and frantically walked home.

She was elated beyond description. Her best friends would finally be closer and they could spend more time together.

Oh, how she was thrilled.

So thrilled, that when she opened to door to Tobias's apartment, she screamed:

"My friends are moving here to New York!"

Tobias walked over to where she was standing. "What?"

"My best friends from England," she said a little more calmly, "are moving here."

His eyebrows rose and he grinned. "Wow. That's amazing."

Her cheeks hurt from smiling, but she didn't care. "I know! Oh my, I can't wait for you to meet them."

He hugged her. "I'm so happy for you. Now I can finally meet these people you always speak of. I was starting to think you had imaginary friends."

—

The next day, Tobias remembered the envelope tucked beneath Tris's arm and began to ask himself questions. He knew she was frustrated and annoyed and definitely didn't want to talk about it. But maybe the next day she'd be more up for it, so he decided he'd try.

Then he decided maybe not.

When they arrived home together, it was around four o'clock, and both Tris and Tobias were frustrated at themselves and each other. The day in the studio was rough. Tris was frustrated with herself because she just simply couldn't sing correctly for the life of her that day. She was frustrated with him because he was frustrated himself for not producing the song the way he imagined it. The whole aura was just frustrating and tense.

"Hey," Tobias said as they laid on the couch. "What was that letter about yesterday? You were acting like… I don't know. Like you weren't okay."

Immediately, Tris rejected the idea. She rolled her eyes and said, "I was okay. I am okay, Tobias. And quite frankly, it doesn't concern you, either." She got up and began to walk to the kitchen. Tobias followed her and watched her grab a beer.

"That's not good for your voice," Tobias pointed out. She didn't usually drink alcohol; the last time was about two months ago.

"Yeah, well, I was singing like hell today so it's not like it matters anyway."

He shook his head. "Is it because of the paparazzi? Are you stressed?"

Tris opened the cap to her beer. "Yes and yes. The letter was nothing though."

"Tris," he said, "why won't you just talk about it with me? I want you to be okay."

"God, I am okay. Just leave it alone."

Tobias sighed. "Why should I?"

"Because I asked you to. Because I'm afraid that if I start to talk about it I will absolutely break down. And if I break down, then I won't be able to get back up. Okay? Satisfying?"

He rolled his eyes. "No. Not satisfying. I don't like seeing you break down. But I can handle holding you while you do so. And I can help you get back up if you're not strong enough—which I know you are. I just want you to be okay."

"I'm perfectly fine, Tobias!" she said frustratedly. "Just… just go and—and suck a dick. Yeah. Suck a bloody motherfuckering bellend."

Tris wasn't drunk, no. She'd only had a mere two sips of beer. She was just hysterical and joked when she acted like everything was okay. And obviously she'd brought out her roots when she was mad.

Tobias almost chuckled. "Funny. Real funny, Prior. Messing around when you're actually falling apart."

She smirked. "Anything to keep from doing so."

Tobias shook his head, giving up. "Okay, Tris."

"You know what, I don't even give a bloody—"

And a familiar ring occurred.

"What?" Tris said harshly. "Oh. Sorry, Chris. Yeah. Oh my god, I totally forgot. Yes. I'll get there as soon as possible."

Tris sighed, silent.

"I have to meet Christina at the airport. You'll meet her tomorrow. As for seeing you later, I won't. When I get home it'll probably be around 1900—I mean, nine o'clock," she corrected herself. "Anyway, I'll be spending the night at my own place for the night. I'll probably be up writing most of the night."

Tobias would've laughed if it wasn't for the mood; he always found it adorable when she used a non-American term.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you at the studio tomorrow then," Tobias said.

"Okay then," Tris replied.

"Fine."

"Whatever," she retorted.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Then a _slam!_ of the door and a _click!_ of it locking in place.

Tobias stood there, still, then leaned against the wall. And he stood there for a while, just like that.

* * *

When Tris arrived home that night, she was exhausted. Yet, she didn't go to bed. She changed into just underwear and one of Tobias's old giant t-shirts. It smelled of him; like a fresh mint leaf. After she'd changed, she walked over to her desk. She wrote every single song at that exact desk with that exact lamp over her head. She preferred no sunlight or ceiling light. Just a small reading lamp on her desk. She basked in the dark when she wrote these songs.

So she sharpened a new pencil, got out her journal full of songs, and turned on her keyboard.

She created a wonderful tune on the piano, then realized she couldn't for the life her produce any lyrics to go along with it.

Absolutely none.

And so she sat there at that godforsaken desk and overhead light and keyboard, just taunting her.

And then it clicked. The chorus finally clicked with her.

"And as I sit here in your old t-shirt,

I try to wrap my head around why

you would give me all of this hurt

And so I look for the answer in the sky

And when I find no answer there

I don't know why I was so surprised

Because I know inside

Because I know inside

you're the only one who can make the pain subside"

Tris grinned. She knew what the song wold be about. And she was thrilled.

She sang the chorus, and it sounded wonderfully. Then she began to write the beginning of it.

"It all started out with my aching pain

That you tried to cure with the Mary Jane

But surprise

Your love was the drug

That got me high

Got me high

Got me high

Yeah my heart was poundin' through my chest

The very first time you got me to undress

Yeah my life was a mess until you took away my hardships

All with a little simple kiss

And now I admit

Now I admit

You've become my mess

[chorus]"

Tris sat there, astounded with herself. She'd written songs fast before, and this was not considered fast. This was about average. But the quality in which she wrote it was amazing. This might turn out to be one of the best she'd ever written.

So she sang again what she'd gotten so far.

Then she began to write more of the song after the chorus.

"When we got in that fight

Oh, it ruined what we had

Oh, it ruined our night

and it drove me mad

So tell me why did you hurt me

Was it just for your security?

Was it all just for good laugh?

Well I hope you at least had that

Had that

Had that

[chorus]

[piano with upcoming intense singing]

Oh, you stole the air right from my lungs

And I don't know if I want it back

Oh, and am I the one

Am I the one

Who's soul is turning black?

Am I the one?

Am I the one?

[chorus]

[soft piano]

Yeah, you stole my air

Right from my grip

And you refuse to share,

So I begin to slip

[end]

"Holy shit," Tris heard someone say. She jumped with a slight squeal.

It was just Tobias.

"Tobias, it's 0100 at night. What in the bloody hell are you doing here?"

He walked toward her. "I couldn't sleep. Not without you by my side."

Tris looked at the keys and slightly smiled.

"Was that about me?" Tobias asked softly. "The song?"

She shrugged. "Yes and no. It's about a girl with a boyfriend whom she loves dearly, but gets into a fight with that changes their lives. And, metaphorically, he's stolen her heart, which is the whole air thing, and she doesn't know if wants it back. And because he stole her air, she begins to slip away, which means she's losing who she is and must end the relationship. But in part two of the song, they work through it and end up still loving each other through everything they've gone through. And his old t-shirt helped her remind herself of that."

He grinned. "I'm sorry. About earlier. I didn't mean to pressure you or anything into telling me. It's just… I care about you. A lot. And," he said, walking closer, "you're my girl. I need you. A lot."

Tobias bent down since she was sitting in a chair and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm sorry too. I completely understand what you meant earlier. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Everything. I promise." She stood, then gave him a light peck on the lips. "Let's go back to your bed. I'm much more used to that one than the one at my own apartment."

Next thing Tris knew, she was being swooped away, bride-style, down one floor and down the corridor to Tobias's apartment.

He set her down on the bed, crawled in next to her, then they both waited for their dreams to take them away while they held each other in their arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Just so you guys know, every song I include in this story is written by me unless I mention the real artist. Every song Tris writes, I actually write.

* * *

"Just be yourself. You're sweet. You're adorable. But you're also sexy," the photographer tells Tris. "You're also a nice girl, but bad just for a guy."

Tris nodded, smirking. "So nerdy, but sexy."

"In a nutshell, yes."

A laugh arose from her. "Okay."

So she stood straight up, facing the camera. She was in shorts, knee socks, a scarf, and a sweater. They told her to wear her glasses, which somehow they knew she had. Her hair was in a low side bun, so it was visible in the picture. She crossed her arms, and pressed in between her arms and her body was a book. Her song book. She'd brought it for the interview after, but the photographer insisted on using it in the photoshoot.

When she posed, all she did was give a cute smirk and move her eyes up and to the right.

And then they were done. Tris excitedly looked at the screen where they'd see the end results. But she frowned.

"That's photshopped."

"No, no," the editor laughed, "that's magic."

"My waist is thinner and my legs are longer. My cheekbones are more defined and my eyes softer. This does not make me look beautiful. It makes me look artificial."

"This is how being famous works, sweetie. Now let it be."

Tris laughed bitterly. "No. I refuse to have those on the cover of Vogue. I won't sign the release forms."

The editor sighed. "Okay. If that's how you want it to be." She clicked a few buttons, then Tris was back to her natural self, which was much more beautiful then any photoshop magic.

"I like that better," Tris said with a smug smile.

The editor remained impartial while she said, "Our other interviewer will be waiting for you just through that door. Selene will show the way."

"Thank you," Tris said. Selene walked Tris over to the door where Tobias, who stood by the door.

"Did you just do what I think you did?"

"Could I just have a moment?" She asked Selene as she smiled.

"Of course. Just come on in whenever you're ready, Ms. Prior."

"What might that be?"

"You told them not to photoshop you," he said with a proud smile.

"Oh. Yes, indeed."

"Reason #1 why I love you."

Tris smirked. "And here I just thought it was because of my ass."

Tobias laughed. "It's definitely a high reason on the list."

She laughed and walked through the door, Tobias following.

"Ah, Ms. Prior," the interviewer said. "My name is Kayla, and this is Selene as you already know. Please, take a seat. Get comfortable. Selene and I will just be asking you some simple questions so your fans can get to know you better."

"Great," Tris said.

"Alright," Selene began. "How did you get discovered?"

"Well, I'd been posting covers of songs on YouTube under the name PrioriT. I did that for about two years, and I was at Uni for one of those. So Tobias, my producer, came out to Britain. And I suppose it was a recruitment, of sorts. I mean, the whole thing happened pretty fast. I was there, he told me he was with a record company, I packed my things, and here I am. Now that I think about it, I didn't really even know how credible he was. He could have been the next Jack the Ripper or something and I wouldn't have even known. Gullible, I am. Anyhow, that's sort of how the whole thing went."

"Wonderful," Kayla said. "Now, the question we all want to know: Are you and your producer, Tobias" her eyes flicked toward him- "an item? There was a recent newspaper article in the Tattler here in New York featuring a picture of you two about to lock lips."

Tris glanced over at him. He was standing by the door leaning against the wall. He gave her a smile.

"Yes," she answered. "We are extremely happy together."

"Adorable," said Selene. "The fans will eat this up. They're going to want to fuck you, kill you, or be you."

Tris laughed. "I suppose so."

"Okay," Selene continued, "so how long have you two been together? Last question about you guys. Promise," she chuckled.

Tris gave a kind smile. "Um... yeah, uh, quite some time now. Let's see, I arrived in November, and we started the whole thing a month or two after I got here. So I guess we've been dating for like four months."

"Wow," Kayla said. "You guys are going to be the next Brangelina. I swear it."

Tobias smiled down at her, and her up at him.

"All right. So what inspired you to write, and how old were you?"

"Well, I first began to write when I was 12, which, obviously, was pretty awful. What inspired me is a little bit of a mainstream story. I listened to music. Just, a lot. And one day I just said hey, maybe I should try this."

"Wonderful. So I overheard you out there at the photoshoot... Our editor wanted to make your waist slimmer, give you highlights, photoshop makeup on, make your legs longer... and you just, uh... you told her no. That you wouldn't sign release papers if she photoshopped you. So what's up with that?"

Tris bashfully looked down. "Yeah. I don't want these girls thinking 'Hey, maybe I shouldn't eat dinner tonight so I can look like Tris Prior.' I grew up thinking that. And then I realized that these photographs were photoshopped and that nobody can look that perfect. I mean it's crazy to set these unrealistic expectations for these young girls. So, to any of you girls reading this, small or large, short or tall, young or old, go and have that extra slice of pizza. Go and scoop yourself that extra scoop of ice cream. Go and eat whatever the hell you want to eat. You be yourself. Not anyone else."

"Wow," Selene said. "You really are an amazing one, Beatrice Prior."

She laughed. "Thank you. I just have a very strong opinion about it. Anyhow, next question before I bring up feminism," she laughed.

The two interviewers laughed.

"So. Another album, I presume, will be coming next year, right?"

Tris nodded. "Likely. But I will be going on tour in the U.S. and UK. After the second, depending on its success, I'll be going on a world tour."

"Stunning. This must be a dream come true, right?"

Tris paused, then quickly answered to save face. "Yeah. It really is."

"Okay," Selene said, "one last question and you'll be out of here, Ms. Prior."

"Shoot."

"Are you two serious? Like, marriage eventually?"

Tris's eyebrows when up in surprise. "I... I mean, I don't know. Can you ask me another final question?" she nervously laughed.

The interviewers eyed each other.

"Okay," Kayla said. "We have a source that said they heard Shawn Mendes talking. Apparently, he has a bit of a crush on you. You knew of this, yet, you choose Tobias, whom the two are both equally physically attractive. Why Tobias?"

Tris smiled, then looked up at Tobias. "Can you wait outside?"

He nodded with a smile.

Tris continued. "Well, as great as Shawn is, I've had eyes set on Tobias the day I met him. Shawn and I are great friends and everything, but Tobias... I don't know what it is about him. But I love him. He's generous, kind, intelligent, brave, and... He's the one. He's it for me. And I don't want to freak him out, I guess. But... yeah. I don't know. He's not perfect, but he's everything I want."

The interviewers were silent.

"Beautiful," one of them whispered.

"We're all done here," Selene said. "Thank you so much for you time. We're huge fans, Ms. Prior."

She smiled and stood. "Of course. Thanks, guys."

And so Tris stepped outside to see Tobias on the phone. He was laughing.

"Yes. Hilarious. So 6 o'clock my place? Yeah, apartment 7. Yeah. Yep. Okay. See you then. All right." A laugh. "Bye."

Tris quirked her eyebrow as Tobias handed her her phone.

"I'm ordering pizza tonight for us and your friends. Also, I invited Uriah and Zeke, if that's all right."

Tris grinned. "Splendid. Six o'clock, you said?"

He nodded. "So... what'd you say about me?"

She smirked. "You'll find out in next month's edition of Vogue."

He laughed. "Oh, come on. Please?"

She shook her head. "Sorry, sweetie. You're not getting anything out of me, mister."

He smirked as they walked out the building. "Nothing?"

"Not a lick," she said coyly. "Not. A. Lick."

He frowned. "Well fine. Then maybe you should just sleep in your own apartment tonight."

She glared. "No thanks."

"Or," he suggested, "you could write another song about me. Except this one should be about how I'm not an awful boyfriend."

She laughed. "Haven't you ever heard the song 'Elizabeth?'"

"No," he said curtly. "I haven't."

"Well, it's about how this guy's girlfriend, Elizabeth, is upset about how he never writes songs about her or love, when, really, he is. He tries to explain to her that every song he's ever written was actually about her. It's just that love makes you feel like shit sometimes."

Tobias pondered the thought, but not for long. "I don't want to make you feel like shit."

She chuckled. "You're not. This is the happiest I've been in a long time, in fact. I use my experience from past relationships to write, mostly."

He nodded. "That makes me feel a bit better."

They arrived at his apartment and stood in the hallway. "Come upstairs. To my writing room."

She grabbed his hand, not really giving him an option.

When she arrived, she automatically sat down at the piano bench, and him standing in the doorway.

"Now I'm not very good at love

Please give me a break

Or a shove

Or a shake

in the right direction

I don't know if I'm doing this quite right

and feels kind of funny

yeah, it doesn't feel too nice

but people keep telling me

that's what love is like

I need to make a connection

so please give me shove

in the right direction

[chorus]

No I'm not too good at this

but one thing that i know

is that i need your kiss

and so i really hope

this isn't a temporary bliss

because if it is

then I know I shouldn't be in this business

[end chorus]

Tris was silent when she finished. Then she elaborated.

"That's all I have so far. But... yeah. I guess it's about you. I don't know. I just kind of... wrote it. And everything in this song is true. I am new to love. Good love. And you were the one who gave me that shove."

Tobias was smiling.

"You know, I've never written a love song about true love? Then you. I've written three since I've been with you."

He didn't say anything. He only bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

"No," he said, "I don't think this is a temporary bliss."

She smirked. "Really?"

He nodded. "I think so."

Tris smiled, then jumped up.

"Once you gave me a nudge

in the right direction

I couldn't resist

feeling your affection

and now I crave a kiss

from only your lips," she sang.

This only caused Tobias to smile even wider.

"You know, as much I love listening to you swoon over me, we have people coming over in about twenty," be said as he wore a smirk.

She chuckled. "Okay. I guess I'll just swoon over you some other time."

He grabbed her hand, dragging her out of the room and down to his apartment.

"Let's do this thing," Tobias said.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 _Sorry for any British inaccuracies! I'm not actually British (despite my profile, because of a long story). I'm trying my best here. Also, the next chapter will be pretty... different, in terms of what i've been writing so far for this story._

* * *

Tobias, Tris, Zeke, Uriah, Shauna, Marlene, Will, and Christina all sat on the floor around a table centrally located in the living room of Tobias's apartment.

"Dumb question," Uriah said after he finished his first slice of pizza. "Do you guys, meaning British, of course, have pizza? I mean, do you even know what it is?"

Tris, Shauna, Christina, Marlene, and Will all laughed.

"Of course," Marlene said. "The five of us would get it much better than this rubbish at Italian markets. We have the standard Pizza Hut and whatnot, but we never order from that dodgy restaurant. Always fresh. And sometimes we'd actually make our own pizza."

The Americans nodded.

"Hm," Uriah said with a smirk. "You should teach me sometime."

Tobias gave a look at Tris across the table, smiling, knowing what Uriah was getting at. And, judging by the way Tris responded with her visage, she knew too.

Marlene smiled and nodded. "That'd be fun."

When Tris thought nobody was looking, Tobias noticed her wink at Marlene. Her reaction was a blush.

"So Shauna," Zeke said to her, "what do you do?"

"I'm an art curator for the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art. I approve or disapprove of what goes into the museum. I previously was a curator for The British Museum of our history and whatnot, which is known as one of the best museums in all of Europe. I find art much more interesting though. So they offered me a position."

"Wow," Zeke said.

"What about yourself?" she asked him.

"I'm an intern for Sweets Music Productions. It's where Tris records. It's how we met. Uriah and I live together two floors up since the music company owns a couple of apartments in this building."

"That sounds exciting," Marlene said. "And Uriah, what do you do?"

"I'm a head chef for Le Bernardin, a—"

"No way," Marlene interrupted. "Le Bernardin?"

He nodded. "Why? You heard of it?"

She laughed. "I start there next week as your new chef."

"Tris!" Uriah said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her attention was ripped from Tobias's. She met his eyes. She shrugged and smirked. "It never clicked?"

Marlene glared. "You knew."

Tris smiled. "No," she said sarcastically as she stood. She took everyone's paper plates and began to walk into the kitchen. "More margaritas?"

"Bring 'em!" Christina shouted.

Tris chuckled and pushed the swinging door to the kitchen. She dumped the paper plates into the trash can and walked over to the blender. She added all of the needed ingredients for the frozen drinks. She went back out to the living to grab everyone's cup. She couldn't carry eight, so Tobias helped her carry them.

"So," he said, "Uriah and Marlene and Zeke and Shauna seem to be hitting it off pretty well."

"I know," she said excitedly. "I mean, I never really thought about it before, but, yeah, it'd be pretty fun if we all were couples."

He nodded. "I suppose."

"So do you like them?" Tris said. "My friends, I mean. Not the margaritas," she chuckled.

He smiled. "Yeah. They're really fun."

"Good. I'm glad."

"You should teach me how to make pizza sometime," he suggested.

Tris laughed. "I'll get right on that." And then she started the blender. After that, Tobias knew she heard him say something, but probablycouldn't make it out from the noise of the blender.

"That does sound quite romantic," he repeated. "I think it'd be fun."

She smiled. "Me too. You know what? Let's do it tonight. After everybody leaves. We'll go to the store, come back, and stay up until the break of day. And it'll be fun."

He grinned. "Tonight?"

"You never know. We could not even be alive tomorrow."

He only smirked and picked up the glasses of margaritas, helping Tris carry them to her friends.

"All right," Tris said when she reached her friends. "Margaritas. Margaritas all around."

"This _has_ to be my last one," Christina said as she took the margarita from Tris.

"You said that two drinks ago," Uriah said, smirking.

Everyone laughed, including Christina. "But seriously, I need to chug and go. Will and I've got a meeting with Nat Geo tomorrow and the double zeros have already lined up."

So Christina gulped the entire contents in the glass, and then squealed. "Brain freeze!"

Tris laughed. "That's what you get. If you wanted to leave so badly, I could've just given you to-go cup, you wanker."

Chris glared. "You're the wanker."

"Am not, wanker!" Tris exclaimed with a grin.

"Then chug."

Tris looked down at the contents of the glass, which almost reached the brim. She rolled her eyes, and the bottom was to the ceiling. And as she finished, Chris watched her with amazement.

"And no brain freeze?"

"No… My mouth is quite cold though."

"Tobias," Chris called. "Come and warm her up. You know. Since her mouth is cold."

Tris's mouth gaped. "You slimy jerk."

"Tobias doesn't exactly look like he opposes, now does he?"

Tris only glared, while Tobias all for it. He wanted nothing more than to keep her warm.

Within the next ten minutes or so, a challenge between Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, and Marlene took place. They wanted to see who could finish fastest. Unsurprisingly, Uriah won.

They all gathered around the door, where Zeke and Shauna stood next to each, Uriah and Marlene, and then, of course, the couples.

"Zeke and Uriah are _so_ asking for their numbers!" Tris whispered up at Tobias.

"Probably," he said with a grin. Tris's proximity to him made him feel unfocused and uneasy. Always had, and probably always would. And that thrilled him to his very core.

And so the group said their goodbyes, hugging and shaking hands. They all departed one by one, leaving Tris and Tobias alone together.

"So do you like all them?" Tris asked. They both leaned against the door they'd just shut, and had slunk down with their knees against their chest.

He nodded. "They're really fun."

Tris smiled, then yawned. "Great."

"Want to head to bed?" he asked, yawning himself.

She wore a wild grin, that of course meant she was up to absolutely no good at all.

"Silly goose, we're making pizza, remember?"

He laughed. "Tris, we've been up for nearly seventeen hours. Plus we had pizza for dinner."

"This pizza is better than any delivery. But hm," she said, mischief written all over her. She stood and dragged Tobias up with her. "What ever could we do to stay awake…?"

He smirked. "I've got a couple ideas." So he kissed her, pressing her against the door.

"That's one way," Tris mumbled.

He touched her in a way that made her want to collapse entirely. Just completely cede into him. His arms wrapped around her waist, creeping lower and lower. Her's remained on his jaw pulling him closer by the second. Tobias's hands slid under her sweatshirt, feeling her smooth bare stomach, and then they traveled up even more and around her back. His fingers easily undid her clasp. He traveled back down, reaching for her leggings, almost getting away with sliding them down.

She moaned, then removed his hand. "Woah, there. You haven't even taken off your shirt."

Tobias glanced down at the sweatshirt Tris still wore.

"I'll take off mine if you take off yours," he proposed.

She only gave a mischievous sideways glance before she slipped off his shirt for him.

He went to rip off her sweatshirt, but she grabbed his hands and simply entwined them with hers.

He pulled back just the slightest, so their lips were just millimeters apart. "I love you."

She smiled and hugged him. "I know. I love you too. So much."

"For it being one in the morning," he said, "we're awfully awake, wouldn't you say?"

She nodded and pulled back. As she clasped her bra once again beneath her sweatshirt, she said, "Ready to make some bloody good pizza?"

He laughed as he put his shirt back on. "I am."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

New York City. Augusta. Concord. Providence. Buffalo. Philadelphia. D.C. Richmond. Charlotte. Atlanta. Orlando. Miami. Jacksonville. Memphis. Louisville. Cincinnati. Cleveland. Detroit. Indianapolis. Chicago. Milwaukee. St. Paul. Omaha. Topeka. St. Louis. Little Rock. Tulsa. Dallas. Houston. San Antonio. Santa Fe. Denver. Rapid City. Billings. Boise. Salt Lake City. Spokane. Seattle. Portland. Carson City. San Francisco. Las Vegas. Los Angeles.

Six months.

43 American cities.

11 million fans.

And countless lonely nights.

New York City through Atlanta were finished. Next was Orlando.

It'd been nearly a month since she'd seen Tobias at her performance at Madison Square Garden. She was extremely homesick—for not only the UK and New York, but Tobias also. She desperately craved him physically, but but also just wanted his presence. They, of course, always texted, called, snapchatted. She missed having him by her side when she slept. She missed having him to hold onto when the press became too much to handle. She missed having him to kiss her and make her feel like she wasn't just a robot who sang. She missed having him. She missed him. She wanted to see him anywhere but a screen.

She _especially_ wanted to see him since their one-year anniversary would be on the day she performed in Orlando. Her tour has been so detrimental to their relationship, and the both of them knew it. They weren't as close as they once were and they certainly didn't open up as much. They've never discussed taking a break, which eased Tris. That was the last thing she wanted, and she was quite sure he hadn't wanted that either. But after the previous day, she wasn't too sure. They'd gotten into it a little over something stupid. She wanted to figure out a way to see him in between cities, and he told her it wasn't possible and that her tour was more important.

Tris's performance was eight o'clock that night, and it was 7:30. Still no call from Tobias. She contemplated calling him. In fact, multiple times, she'd picked the phone and almost pressed the green call button. She didn't have the courage though.

She sat backstage with her long performing outfit on, alone. Her little bit of make-up was finished, and she was waiting for the opening act to finish up. She stared at herself in the mirror, the lightbulbs around it glowing brighter than the sun.

 _Is this really who you want to be?_

The answer was not black and white. It's was purple and red and yellow and green. She didn't know who she wanted to be. She wanted to sing and write songs, but she also didn't want the fame and fortune. It was overrated and not for her. But she'd dug a hole, and now she couldn't escape it. It was too deep and too thick.

"Tris, you're on in five," the stage director announced to her through the door.

She stood up, grabbed the microphone from her director, and walked to the edge of the stage.

"All right," he said, "Five, four, three, two…"

And so she walked. And so she performed. And so she got energized. And so she acted like her life was perfect—which, all in all, she did have a pretty great life, and she knew it. But she knew it just wasn't right for her.

The audience roared and applause thundered throughout the arena when she finished. She turned around one last time to see the audience.

Tris turned away. She entered the dressing room and immediately checked her phone. Nothing. From anyone. A blank screen. A sigh rose from her. She put her elbows on the desk and her face in her hands. Then a knock on the door.

Another sigh, but she mumbled through her hands, "Come in." She figured it was her stage director, so she added, "What do you want?"

The director paused for a second. "You."

Tris lifted her head from her hands, snapping it up to see the only man she wanted to see.

"Tobias," she said with a smile. "Are you actually here, or am I hallucinating from my lack of sleep?"

He laughed. "I'm entirely real."

She didn't have the energy to go and tackle him with kisses or run and jump into his arms like every cliché romantic comedy she watched with Tobias. She simply couldn't she barely will herself to get up and walk over to hug him.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered into his chest. She glanced up at him and smiled, and then kissed him.

"I'm sorry if you were expecting a big run and dramatic jump into your arms. I'm just… Babe, I'm so tired," said Tris with a sigh. "And I just—I want everyone to have the best time of their life at this concert. I want that for them, because they are the reason I can do this. But… I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm just so stressed and—and we have 32 more cities to go. 32! I don't think—"

"Tris," he said calmly. "Sh." And then he hugged her like nothing was wrong.

She was on the brink of tears, and everything _was_ wrong. Nothing was right.

"Honey, it's okay. It's okay. You can do this. You're strong. This is _nothing_ compared to the hell you've been through in your life."

Tris squeezed her eyes tighter as she hugged her man. "I need you," she whispered hoarsely. "I didn't think I would, but I do."

"Honey…"

He didn't say anything else for the next couple minutes. He stood there and held her, which was the only thing that made her forget who and where she was. That was how much she loved him.

"Do you want to go back to the bus? We can cuddle and watch Notting Hill," he suggested.

She looked up and smiled as she nodded. "That sounds pretty fantastic."

When they arrived, Tris showed him around the tour bus. They settled in on the bus, not wasting any time. Tris showed him around the smallish tour bus. They stood in front of the TV. Notting Hill was in Tris's Recently Watched on Netflix, and she could tell that Tobias noticed it.

"I watch it when I miss you," she says, soft and shy.

He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I watch it a lot." She looked up at him, full of affection. She noted that his eyes were full of life, while hers were normally dull. But with him… Well, with him it was different. She felt a spark awaken her; she was alive, and she loved every second of it. Her eyes suddenly weren't dull and lifeless, but full of passion and audacity. And to think, they weren't even touching and he gave her that feeling. She was overwhelmed with want. She wanted his lips on hers, his hands caressing her, and his eyes gazing at her, craving her as much as she craved him.

Tobias's arms snaked around her waist, and hers went to encase his jawline. She went weak, and then they collided. Their love was more impactful than the Big Bang. More explosive than the asteroid that ended the Cretaceous Period. More of an inquiry than religion.

Their lips pressed against each other's harder and harder by the second, until they pulled apart, breathing. Tobias leaned forward again, and Tris pulled her head back a little, hesitant. And then she sighed and let him kiss her again. She ceded into him, but still remained strong enough to tease him to the point where he groaned.

He pulled back and smiled, and Tris back at him. "Your dress looks beautiful on you."

She gave him a weird look, raising an eyebrow. "Thank you."

"But it'd look better on the floor."

She grinned and rolled her eyes. "And though you look quite dashing in this t-shirt and jeans," she laughed, "I think that they'd look a lot better, well, on the floor."

Tobias laughed and kissed her once again.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **-4 months later-**

 _Indeed, I wrote "Vodka," the poem later featured._

"Hey, guys," Tris says as she sits on the stool. "Are you havin' a good time? Are your PrioriTs straight?"

The crowd cheered. Shouts erupted and cheers roared inside the arena.

"Okay. So this piece is something I just finished. Literally. Ten minutes before this very show. And since this is my last show of my very first tour, I want to bless you all with this masterpiece—well, what I consider to be a masterpiece. This is the last thing I will perform for my first tour. This is probably the most true and relatable thing I've written. My favorite. Would you like to hear as to why that is?"

Cheers.

Tris smiled. "Alright. So, all of you know my Tobias, right?"

The cheer that trumped all other cheers erupted within the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

"Well," she said as it became silent, "it's been hard—"

"We love Tobias!" somebody shrilled.

Tris grinned, laughing. "Me too. Any how, this poem is dedicated to him. It's been really difficult being away from him this long. I've been on tour for six months, and he's only been able to visit one time. It's been four months since I've seen him, and I… I just miss him so goddamn much that I thought, for some reason, getting drunk might solve this problem. It didn't. And guys, don't make the same mistake I did, because when you wake up, the pain in your chest is ten times worse than what you ever thought it could achieve.

"And so here… here I present… 'Vodka.'"

Tris took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and prepared to speak the poem of her life.

"I don't need you

I need vodka

I need my shoes

I need a ride

I need to hide

You played a part

In a crime

that involved my heart

You've crossed the line

So all I really need

is vodka

holding onto me

and marijuana

making me carefree

It's put me in nirvana

and now you can finally see

that I don't need you

in order to be happy

I fall straight do—"

Tris looked around the stadium, then left, right. And to her left, Tobias stood there, smiling, arms crossed. She gasped, dropped her song book, and ran.

He walked a little bit onto the stage, and Tris practically tackled him.

"Tobias!" she yelled. She jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around her love's waist. "Oh my god, I've missed you. I love you. I love you so goddamn much." Her eyes were watery, and she hopped down and grinned.

Tris had forgotten that her microphone was hooked up to her ear and that the audience could probably hear everything she was saying.

She didn't care though. Not one bit.

"I love you too, Tris."

"Okay, okay," Tris said, turning to the audience. She grabbed his hand and walked him out to the middle of the stage, then let go of it. "This is my producer, Tobias Eaton. Also the love of my"—Tris turned back toward Tobias, and then saw him down on one knee—"life," she breathed out.

"Beatrice," he began. A backstage guy handed Tobias a microphone, and he spoke again. "Beatrice Prior. Tris. PrioritT… I love you. More than I should. Probably a dangerous amount. I've got enough love that it could end wars and we'd have world peace."

Tris turned away, terrified she'd sob in front of thousands of people.

She turned back.

"It's been a rough six months in New York without you, but if we can make it through that… Well, then we can make it through anything. I may not be the greatest person in the world, but I will love you like there is no end." Tobias opened the box that contained a ring. "So, don't be a _wanker_ and say no. It's not like we're just _shagging._ And besides, I'm not _rubbish_ or _dodgy_ or a _knobhead._ I think you and I together would be absolutely _brilliant_."

Tris nodded, laughing. "Yeah," she whispered. "Yes."

The audience erupted, and Tris couldn't think straight. He slipped the ring on her finger.

She took the moment and held it tighter than anything before.

"What do you think, guys?" she asked her fans. "You think I made the right choice?"

They were like volcanoes. Constantly erupting.

"All right," she said, laughing. She held Tobias's hand as she sat on the stool. "This is 'Vodka,' and this is for you, Tobias.

"I fall straight down

to the the ground

I can't get up,

but I eventually do,

and I take another huff

and another shot

because it sounds better

than any

of my thoughts

so my ride carries me,

unwillingly,

back to her car,

and it feels kind of far;

probably because i'm drunk

but I still know

I haven't had enough

So all I really need

is vodka

holding onto me

and marijuana

making me carefree

It's put me in nirvana

and now you can finally see

that I don't need you

in order to be happy

So as we ride home

the car pulls over

on the side of the road

and I yell a hello

to my imaginary friend

as I bend

to expel

this night's

hell

So I look away

and I hop back in

because I know I can't stay

since the air is becoming thin

the night is no longer young

but I am

so I must continue on

So I roll down the window

and scream

"My God,

What's become of me?"

It's the only sober thought

I've had all night

but I won't remember anything

because I'm higher

than a kite

So all I really need

is vodka

holding onto me

and marijuana

making me carefree

It's put me in nirvana

and now you can finally see

that I don't need you

in order to be happy

So when I arrive home

I trip over the steps

of the monochrome home

then I noticed something I kept

It was yours,

that t-shirt

and so I throw it on

to release the hurt

since your presence

it always lurks

So I'm not surprised

when I find

that I

Am crying

So I've decided

That what I don't need

is vodka

holding onto me

and marijuana

making me carefree

It hasn't put in nirvana

and now you will finally see

that I need you

In order

To be

Happy."

And then they exploded. Claps thundered throughout the arena, and she grinned a wide grin.

"Thank you, Los Angeles!" Tris screamed. She grabbed Tobias's hand and ran backstage with him.

She took him into the dressing room, then slammed the door behind them. She pressed him against the door, taking charge. Tobias sighed. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his even more.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, slightly pulling back. "I'm kind of crazy."

He laughed at her. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life, Tris Prior."


End file.
